Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my going gray journey. Yay me! Party at 5 pm, after work, will you be here to help me celebrate?
Okay – you’re right, people don’t celebrate gray-anniversaries. There’s no party, it’s just me ranting for a bit about the lack of a finish line.
Besides, you’d think by now I’d be finished with the journey, right?
I have long since reached the magical moment when I could say, “Done – I did it, I let my hair go gray.”
I still shock the heck outta people who haven’t seen me in years. That’s kind of fun when it happens, by the way. Just sayin’…
Last year, right before my 54 birthday I wondered if I would love my gray hair when I turn 54 (you can read that post here)? Mind you, I had already ditched all the dye and my hair was back to its original length, even longer, and it was all my natural color.
Why would I be wondering if I’d like it or not? I had accomplished my goal, so I thought.
Then I realized, I am still wondering if I’ll love my hair when (every day I look in the mirror) I turn another year older. I’ll be turning 55 in November. I’ll finally be at the potentially societal rightful age to have gray hair, won’t I?
Society speaks in whispers of ageism when I think that way.
I buy into the rumors of:
- You look old
- You let yourself go
- You look tired
- You don’t look professional
- Whatever…
It is BS – I shake it off. I don’t believe that gray hair means you’re old or any of those other thoughts, except maybe tired.
Gray hair has little to do with our authentic age. Gray hair is 100% natural whenever our body says it is time to be gray. For some of us, it happens in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, or never. Believe it or not, I know one dear person who reports her hair has never gone gray. I believe her.
That’s nature taking its own sweet time.
I tried to tell my daughter me choosing to go gray was to embrace my authentic self. She agreed and disagreed. She supports me, but she said people who color their hair whatever color they choose to are also being authentic to themselves and their desires for what they want their own hair to look like so they feel like themselves.
Okay…maybe…?
We’re both right, in a way, ‘cuz it’s us humans that decide if it’s okay, or not okay, to be gray until we’re ready for it to be gray. Period.
The longer we put that going gray journey off, by avoiding the genuine color underneath the alternative color we chose it to be, the longer we will fight the urge to let it be whatever it will be.
We will always have one thing in common.
You know why? Duh – ‘cuz girls never stop messing or fussing with their hair. NEVER. EVER. EVER.
Even after all of the dyed hair has been gone from my sight in the mirrors for well over 2 years, I still fuss with my hair. Not as much as I did when coloring it though, but I still do fuss. And I venture to say, you fuss with your hair too. Regardless of what color it is.
After stopping the coloring routines, I was still left with my curly, crazy, unruly hair. The same stuff you have (or maybe yours behaves better?). We all have hair. It covers our head, thinly, thickly, or in whatever manner we find ourselves with – and, yes, dear, we will fuss with it.
Wahlah – so there, I did achieve one part of the going gray journey. The world should stop spinning and notice me and reward me for my efforts, right?
Who in the h*ll ever would ever say that? Not me. The real me. But the social media narcissist in me might. I don’t let her out often. Except when I want to rant about the going gray journey. Like today. That narcissist feels like celebrating because…
I did execute the part of the journey I committed to myself to on 9/12/2016 – I vowed to never color my hair again. And that’s what each gray-anniversary is to me. A day to celebrate I’m still on the journey and loving every minute of it.
I’m thankful to be over with parts of it, especially the transition – that was not fun. Seriously – not fun. But I crawled my way to the top of it.
My advice is, (since you asked ;-)) if you’re thinking about going on the journey, I’d recommend going for it, even the transition part. Because, after you get through that part, the rest of the journey is fun. Then you get to discover what you love about being on another side of ageism and narcissism.
That ongoing battle is real if you go gray or not.
Thankfully, though, we’re all sparkling friends just blowing in the wind.
Aren’t you glad I’m done with my rant? Whew, me too – ‘cuz frankly, I’ve got better things to do than worry about my f*#*ing hair.
Post Inspiration – Going Gray Anniversary
PS – What’s your take on ageism and gray hair? Have you experienced it – what did you learn? What age is it okay to let your hair go gray? What do you think of the little gray-haired gnome – my FIL got it for his 82nd birthday.
I wear what little gray hair I have left as a badge of honor. You look fine.
A badge of honor is right! Thank you, Dan, I appreciate your encouragement!
An honest personal blog about a subject many just don’t talk about! I have a friend with curly white hair and when we walk down the street together, folks look at her and comment. A photographer once asked if he could photograph her … I mumbled something about being chopped liver … And BTW, you really look lovely, gray and all! Now you must get everyone in your family to buy you gorgeous silver jewelry to compliment!
Thank you, Ellen. Was she the friend who got the interview!?!? Remember that? I appreciate your encouragement – and Mr. hopefully notices your suggestion for silver jewelry, our anniversary is coming up ;-)!
If gray hair on me looked as good as it does on you I would go for it. Sadly my natural color mixed with gray just doesn’t go with my skin tone. I’m not vain in fact I wear make up only on occasion. But I’m not quite ready for the gray.
Thank you for the compliment, Lisa. It is definitely a personal choice. I respect all who decide going gray is or isn’t for them. You’ll know if/when it is the right time for you. 🙂
You still look beautiful, Shelley. They only envy you because you rock the gray hair. 😉
Aw, Winnie – thank you, I appreciate your encouragement!
My pleasure, Shelley!
You look perfect Shelley, just the way you should. I’ve been gray for years, keep it almost butched off completely these days.
Thank you, John! Short hair is very easy to take care of!
I go with the “live and let live” philosophy. Your gray hair is really quite attractive (and I love the curly part too), so I admire your courage to go forth and go natural! Gray hair is tied in with the ageism in our culture – especially for women and that’s tough to deal with sometimes. My thoughts are – go gray whenever you feel like it. I figure it’s one thing we can control about our aging bodies. So much is out of our control, why not go for coloring your hair if you want to and if you can? 🙂
Excellent perspective, thank you for sharing. Playful coloring of hair is fun – my daughter has a lot of friends that do the pinks, purples, greens, etc. My colors choices went from Elvira black to weirdish browns, and at last attempt was an auburn that absolutely didn’t look ‘real’. 😉 I gave up trying to find a color that felt like ‘me’. I was quite surprised at what the real me looks like. I had missed her for a lot of years. 🙂
I just try to match what it was back in the old days. LOL. Glad you found the real you 🙂
If you can find a colorist who can do that for you, she’s/he’s golden. Mine was great, I just didn’t care for the colors I thought I’d look good in. The Elvira black with the white halo below it just didn’t cut it for me. ;-)!
Look at it this way: you earned your gray hair. I think you’d look older if you colored it, frankly.
Thank you, John, of course, I agree with you! 😉
Sorry Shelley, won’t be able to get there after 5 🙁
No worries, I knew you were here in spirit(s)! 😉
Thanks hic 😀
Be grateful you have hair Shelly. Many people including myself were very happy with a full head of gray hair, now long gone.
Oh, Mike, I am grateful. Do you have something you love about not having hair? You don’t need to scrub your shiny head with smiling sponges or do you?! 😉
Its a pain because I have to shave my head very day!
Yikes, that does sound like a pain. So you do have hair………….?!
Only on the sides but the rest grows enough to be stubbly in a pattern too uneven to leave alone. Nothing you have to worry about I’m sure.
LOL – whew, glad we got that cleared up!
I love your hair. It’s beautiful.
Aw, thank you!! xx
xx 🙂
Your hair is curly and bouncy so being gray is great – it is when hair is straight with the occasional wiry hair sticking out that does not look so great. Your hair looks healthy and just perfect for you Shelley.
Aw, thank you, Linda. Do you go on Pinterest? If you do, follow me, and check out my Gorgeous Gray board – you’d be surprised to see all of the straight hair grays that look very healthy and stunning. But, that’s me – you know where I stand on the love of gray! 😉 And I respect all who don’t care for it either. It’s a personal choice for sure!
I am on Pinterest Shelley, though I do not post on any boards and just go on there to grab clip art if the need arises … I find that I can hone in on clip art that suits my needs better than on Pixabay, which used to be my former go-to place. I will check it out!
That’s a good reason to go to Pinterest! Thank you for stopping by to check out my board. 🙂
Your hair is gorgeous. If I let my hair go natural, it would be pure white. Which would be fine, except I have thick dark eyebrows. Pretty sure that would look wierd.
Thank you, Anne Marie – I love seeing people with a full head of white hair. The look is gorgeous and people pay good money for tatoos of eyebrows that stand out. You might be surprised at how much and how nice it does look. I have to fill mine in a bit – I’m jealous of your thick brows!