Every February, I get a bug to do good things for the heart and brain. If you’ve been following me for a long time, you know that my mom died of complications from Diabetes and Vascular Dementia in 2012. Here’s the two of us a few years before her diagnosis.
Little did I know at the time that her dementia journey would help me help my dad on his journey 16 years later. (Note, the following post is a public service announcement, this is NOT medical advice, I’m not a medical professional, only a daughter who has personal experience of seeing how a person declines with dementia.)
The unraveling of a person’s journey with dementia is messy, yet can be beautiful too.
It’s a matter of paying attention to signs as they reveal themselves.
Preventing dementia is near and dear to my heart. I believe that diet is extremely important. But there’s so much more. Fast forward a decade from when Mom died, and now, my dad has MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment).
Sigh…gotta love the storms of life and how they creep up on you, right?
Since August of this past year, Dad’s symptoms of his dementia have gotten worse in an odd way. A curiously odd way. So, having been committed to my coddiwomple adventures for 2024, I went on a mission to question why that might be and I wasn’t sure where I’d end up. I took my brother along with me. Well, he drove, and I talked about the discoveries I found that helped my dad in the process.
A physician is only as good as the information they are presented with at each appointment. A person with dementia benefits greatly from a loved one helping reveal the struggles they’re having when they can’t unfold the story themselves.
Before we ventured to see Dad and his NP this past week, I researched and prepared and found clues as to what had happened since this summer when he was prescribed his first doses of Aricept. (Long story short, from Aug – Dec 2023 he had accidentally taken double doses of all of his medications that were supposed to be given as needed, not scheduled).
It resulted in a hot mess in his brain.
You see, not all dementia is inevitable. MCI can be part of the slow aging process. Who doesn’t forget things from time to time? Some signs of dementia can be related to hearing issues too, which he has. Some dementia can worsen by inadvertently over-medicating and not knowing the risk of the complications of anticholinergic burden and the effects on the brain. That’s where my adventure took me. And thankfully, his NP took the time to read my thoughts and agreed.
I remember when my mom was in hospice at her end-of-life stages and all her medications were stopped. Her dementia got better. She was more clear in her thoughts and words. Her blood sugars weren’t controlled, but, dang, she was as happy as she could be as she was ready to launch her weary soul into heaven.
Before my mom was admitted to assisted living in 2008, I was her medication set-up person at her home. So I remembered her meds well. I plugged a few of them into this website and was shocked at how even common medications that we take have negative effects on the brain.
Mom was obese, diabetic, and had depression (and HTN, high BP, high cholesterol, etc.) and if she had a cold she’d take DayQuil or TylenolPM. WOW – she was a high risk back then and I didn’t even know it.
I plugged my dad’s medications in and his score was a 5 for HIGH risk. When I found out that my dad was taking too many medications I told his sweetheart to stop the as-needed ones! She obliged, thankfully.
That week back at the end of December and early January was the beginning of seeing a new light of day for him. The cloudiness, fogginess, and fatigue he was experiencing started to fade.
The next day was exciting for him. He felt better than he had felt in months.
He slept well, got up and showered and shaved, dressed, and ventured out of the house to run an errand and had energy to boot when he returned home!
I shared the story with his NP this past week. I provided her links to my research (see links at the end of the post) and she agreed to remove all the unneeded medications – he’s down to one that the NP is investigating if it is necessary or not. He’ll report to her in 6 weeks as to how it is going and maybe he won’t even need that one. 🤞🏻 We have his one med set up in a weekly planner that he can operate himself. He thought the day was a big win. His being pleasantly confused isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He hadn’t remembered that the NP said to both of them at the appointment, “You two both have dementia and are no longer safe, you need to find an alternative living situation.”
With a heavy heart, that means I will need to do more planning, with my brother. We started by confiscating all the expired medications and all of the unneeded medications from Dad’s medicine cabinet. I brought them home to dispose of them properly. Our local police station has a drop-off spot and they destroy them.
At home, I grabbed a 1/2 gallon bag that stands up on its own and poured the bottles of pills into it. (On a side note, I noticed the packaging has changed in a year… the same price for the 38-count as it was for the 50-count) 😣
Mr. and I decided it was time to make sure our medicine cabinet was clean and had only unexpired items in it too. We added our expired medications to the mix of my dad’s. I shuddered at the darkness of the events that unfolded, being grateful that we were on a new path for Dad.
In the light of the day, the rainbow of drugs available to us humans is an odd thing indeed. Is it the golden ticket to longevity? I don’t know if I buy it.
Yet, I suppose if the needed drugs were all white they’d contribute to confusion and medication errors too. I remember being able to describe to my mom on the phone that she needed to take the tiny blue tablet – the same one that my dad was accidentally taking twice the amount of. Oh, sigh. . .
I wondered, how many people don’t know about the interactions and the adverse effects they can have on our brains. I’ll let you unfold the story for yourself.
Helpful Links: An excellent book called Brain Energy by Christopher Palmer, MD will change the way we think about mental health. A research article on the effects of Anticholinergic Load can be found here. The website to plug in your medications can be found here. For starters, check out Dr. Amy who wishes to help people avoid drugs that harm our brains:
Post Inspiration: Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “heavy/light/dark.” Use “light” and/or its opposites. Bonus points if you use all three. Enjoy! Terri Webster Schrandts’ Feb 11 Monthly Color Challenge: Pink and/ or Red and Anne for Lens-Artists #286 Weather
Thank you for this.
You’re welcome, Dawn, thank you for reading the post.
So many pills! I don’t think we have even a fraction of your accumulation. I wonder, too, how many people don’t understand the negative impact of mixing meds and supplements and beverages with caffeine or alcohol or artificial sweeteners. Doctor’s daughter here, so such things were programmed into me at an early age. Good post.
Hi Ally, thank you for your input.
Yes, it was a lot of pills, sadly this is the 2nd time we’ve cleaned out their medicine cabinet. And, silly me, it was a quart size bag. 😆
You’re right many people don’t understand how all of the stuff we consume can have negative impacts. For the elderly it can be extra confusing when they see remedies advertised on TV that will “help” us too. 🤨
You’re fortunate to have a doctor in the family to make sure you’re on the right path! 🥰
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this – I’m so sorry that so many people have to go through this. But this was some helpful information. I wish you all the best!
Thank you for your empathy, Michelle, it means a lot to all of us going through the journey of dementia. I’m glad you found the information helpful. I wish you the best too. 🤗
My mom had dementia and lived with us for 6 years. I was her caregiver for 9 years. It’s so hard to experience them slipping away. The worst was when I realized I couldn’t care for her at home and had to find an assisted living facility. I was lucky to find a small facility where they loved and cared for her. I also found adult day care for her. I arranged my business appointments around the hours she was at the center. No matter, it’s the hardest thing a child has to do for a parent. I’m doing what I can to keep my brain active.
Aw, Anne, sorry to hear you had to go through the dementia journey too. Your mom’s situation was like my mom’s, except my mom lived in her own home until she couldn’t. You’re right, it is so hard to take that next step to move them to AL. I’m dreading that stage again.
Congratulations for doing what you can to keep your brain active. You certainly have a great plan to use your brain creatively when it comes to photography and research for post ideas! Thank you so much for hosting the Lens-Artist challenge this week!! 🥰
Thank you so much for preparing this post, Shelley. Compliments too on your choice of photos. This is very important stuff, and we don’t always even know we should be asking these questions. I hope your father’s condition improves or he can hold his own.
Thank you for reading the post and for sharing your thoughts, Dan. You’re right we often just assume that whatever the doctor prescribes will be safe with other things we’re taking. I can’t imagine how hard it is for them when all they have to go on it sketchy information at best. It’s important for us to ask the questions. I hope the information I shared is able to help trigger someone to look a bit closer at their situation and help their physician know of their concerns.
We hope so too for Dad!
We have to advocate for ourselves and our loved ones, Shelley.
Yes, we do!
Thank you for sharing this information and links. I had never considered the impacts of meditation on mental acuity. I’m glad you were able to help your dad get his medications scaled back. Hope this improves his quality of life.
You’re welcome, Lisa, I appreciate you taking the time to read the post and share your thoughts.
We’re mighty grateful we were able to help Dad. I hope it improves his quality of life too.
Oh dear. I’m just now seeing auto correct changed “medication” to “meditation”. But I’m sure you know that’s what I meant.
Medication and the elderly — such a mine field. Glad you were able to get it straightened out. It is so hard to see our parents age. You are a good daughter. 😊
Hi Laurel – yes, you’re spot on with the mine field comment!
I appreciate your words of encouragement. 🤗🥰
Sometimes older people have several doctors that don’t know what the others are doing and prescribe meds that interact badly with each other. They really need people to do what you’re doing and catch those situations. Ideally, all the doctors have the same information and know what the others have prescribed. but a lot of times that’s “too much to ask.” Sounds like your dad is lucky you’re there…
Hi John, YES, you’re right about that, thank you for sharing your thoughts. With the 15-20 minutes the doctors have with a patient, being efficient and thorough is challenging. Back when my mom was going through her journey the average number of medications the elderly were taking was 14 and prescribed often by 3-4 different doctors. It was a nightmare to keep her medications straight.
We’re hoping we lucked out for my dad. 🤞🏻
A lot of times, a pharmacy will catch the “dueling prescriptions,” but it seems that every doctor requests a list of all the medications (prescription and OTC) a patient is taking when they start going to them. Problem is, it’s up to the patient to keep the list up-to-date, and often they don’t. Our health system has an electronic system that keeps up with the prescriptions, so as long as you stay in the system you’re all right, everything should stay up to date… Hope all goes well with your father…
It’s nice when the pharmacy is able to and does do that. My dad’s doctor retired and moved away so the VA clinic has been helping him. They’ll send the prescription to the pharmacy of choice.
So far, my dad is continuing to improve each day, so my hope is that this was a good move in the right direction. Thank you for your encouraging words, I truly appreciate them!
What an enlightening post Shelley! I know there are certain pills you cannot mix with food – blood pressure pills and grapefruit juice, or tetracycline and milk for example. My mom took a total of nine different pills and we had a very caring CVS pharmacist who put all her pills into the CVS system since sometimes her GP would give her samples that would last a few months; the same with the eye doctor as she was on drops for her low-angle glaucoma. Sometimes her GP gave her 90-day prescriptions or stronger pills to be cut in half to save her money, especially before she had Medicare. It was confusing but this pharmacist kept things straight at their end. My mom divvied up her pills every Saturday – it was my job the last five or six months of her lif. For me, I only take a One-a-Day Multiple Vitamin and Cod Liver Oils pills – the cod liver oil I began taking when I was just a toddler. I did not know cold medications could cause issues and now I’m going to check out Alavert 24-hour allergy medicine which I use in the Spring, despite having allergy shots.
I like the photos of you and your mom when you were an adult and you and your dad as a toddler and I like that you were wearing red clothing in each of them, fitting perfectly into Terri’s Challenge and heart month. I also like your selection of photos used to fit the description of how you went about sleuthing and your dad’s condition … they were perfect to accompany the words.
It is sad that you know the road ahead for your dad and his main squeeze all too well, having already taken that journey with your mom. MCI did not run in my family, but as you know I understand the effects of it firsthand from a non-family member.
Thank you, Linda. Yes, you’re right even what we eat or don’t eat with our meds makes a difference in how our medications work or don’t work. Your mom was fortunate to know the pharmacist who was doing their job to do what was best for her. With the fast turnaround of medication dispensing nowadays I can’t imagine it being an easy job for pharmacists to do that. The little med planners help when used properly.
Yay – that’s wonderful that you’re only taking vitamins and supplements. I think Benadryl™ is high on the risk charts.
Thank you, I’m glad you noticed the reds in the photos and the photos I chose to go along with the story about my dad. I love that one of the two of us when I was only 1.5 years old.
Indeed you’re right, our road ahead is going to be challenging. Yes, you know all too well how dementia makes situations extra challenging. I hope your non-family member’s family is able to find a way to help their journey be successful and without too much stress.
Cheryl, the pharmacist, was very nice and worked weekends, so we filled the prescriptions then. She got transferred to another CVS pharmacy not nearby shortly before my mom passed away.
I have to look up the Alavert – I forgot today.
I do like the reds in the two sets of photos – perfect picks!
Yes, harder for you as you know the ropes. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of love to get through this.
Cheryl sounds like a great pharmacist.
When you look up Alavert, use the ingredient loratadine instead. Alavert is a name brand that isn’t on the website yet, but the ingredient is.
Red was a favorite color of both of my parents. My mom loved to wear it and my dad at the time used to wear it too when he went hunting.
Yes, I’m going to need lots of patience and love, thankfully I learned some things on the way here. Thank you so much for your support, your kind words help!
Yes, she was a caring pharmacist – I really liked her. Okay, yes I have seen that name for Alavert – in fact I was wondering if it is similar to the cold preparations that will no longer be made available because they are deemed to not help you get over a cold? You are always welcome – it is a journey one step at a time as you know.
I’m not sure about the discontinuing, does anything work really for getting over a cold other than time? Some people are allergic to Phenylalanine too. It’s tough to navigate the options available.
Yes, one step at a time!
I take Nyquil, but haven’t had a cold in awhile so not had to use it. Yes, baby steps = success in every endeavor!
Nyquil and Sudafed were my go-to. I haven’t taken either in decades.
Yes, baby steps are the way to go!!!
En France, autant (tout comme la cetirizine ou la bilastine) la loratadine est conseillée pour traiter les allergies de printemps ou les rhumes des foins. Mais la pseudoéphédrine retrouvée dans “Alavert R” n’est pas recommandée, (compte-tenu des risques cardiovasculaires des vasoconstricteurs : problème de surdosage ou d’antécédents médicaux).
Un spray nasal à l’eau de mer pour les rhumes quelconques ou un spray nasal avec de la cellulose , pour les rhumes des foins et allergies aux pollens, suffisent.
🙂 one French pharmacist named “radaghast”.
Hi Anne, it’s great to hear from you! Thank you for sharing the recommendations from France. I’ve translated it here for others so they can learn from what you’ve shared.
“In France, as much (just like cetirizine or bilastine) loratadine is recommended to treat spring allergies or hay fever. However, the pseudoephedrine found in “Alavert R” is not recommended (given the cardiovascular risks of vasoconstrictors: overdose problem or medical history). A nasal spray with seawater for colds of any kind or a nasal spray with cellulose, for hay fever and pollen allergies, is sufficient. 🙂 one French pharmacist named “radaghast”.”
Shelley, you know that I know what you are going through, so sending love and hugs for the journey you face with your dad. With mom, she had episodes with TIA’s or mini strokes. Her dementia would worsen with each event and at the end, mom was hallucinating and didn’t really know of the world around her. The doctor discussed medication for dementia with me, but also told me of the possible side effects, one of which was death. We both agreed that the medication was an absolute NO. When mom started on hospice, they took away her drugs for age-related diabetes and high blood pressure. She lived another two years. The brain works in mysterious and wonderful ways and I commend you for being a discerning advocate for your dad.
Aw, yes, Mary, I know you know how this journey goes. My mom had the same diseases as your mom and she was the same near the end of life. In retrospect, I have little doubt that the diabetes medications mixed with the BP medications and the depression meds contributed to the dementia my mom had. Yes, it is amazing how the brain works and how it processes the medications we take. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for your support.
You were such a great daughter for your mom, hugs to you as you miss her and treasure the happy memories you had with her. 🤗🥰
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this educational post. My mother had Alzheimer’s and took a lot of pills. My father, who did not, was sharp as a tack until the day he died. This is such an eye opener! I hope things progress well with your dad. Your accompanying photos are lovely! 😍
Hi Debbie, you’re welcome. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing your story of your parents’ journey too. I’m hoping that my hunches about the medications are true for my dad – so far it’s working, I talked to him yesterday and he was still doing well and improving. Your encouraging words make me smile, thank you!
Shelley, thank you for sharing your story and for the suggestions. We found an excellent care facility for my brother who is only 73 but has struggled with progressively worsening dementia for several years. Our parents both died young so we were spared end-of-life care with them. I am my brother’s primary care person but 2 of my other brothers live much closer so share much of the burden, especially with doctors. We found as you did that he was over-medicated by multiple doctors and now takes only 1 drug. He was fairly isolated (his girlfriend left at the first sign of trouble) so socializing at the facility has been good for him altho he fought us hard about going there. He now loves it. It is so painful to see our loved ones as they struggle despite our best attempts to help. I’ve wondered often how people without loving family manage through these terrible diseases of the brain. We can only hope modern technology can find ways to address them. Excellent and informative post!
Thank you for your words of encouragement and for sharing your story about your brother. He’s very fortunate to have you and your siblings to help him find a safe place to be. That’s AWESOME that his medications were adjusted and that he only takes one. 73 is so young. My mom was 67 when we moved her to assisted living and she died just 3 months shy of her 71 birthday. She did NOT want to go to assisted living! It’s heart-warming when those who didn’t want to go find their new home their own home and settle in nicely.
Painful is a good word to describe how it feels to see our loved ones struggle and their independence fade into dependence.
I too hope better ways to address the increase in brain diseases happen.
Thank you again for sharing your story and for your support and for all you’re doing for your brother, hugs to you and your family 🤗
Shelley, There is so much to all of this. And thank you. Anyone that reads this will be grateful for your story and the information you have encouraged us to to delve in to. I am sure you will hear from so many who are just grateful you understand their story. My dad has been gone for a year, and I remember the day my mom brought him home from the hospital following a stroke and she had bottles of pills on the kitchen table and just sobbed. She couldn’t believe this was their new life. We all need to advocate for ourselves while we can, and be sure outlived ones, CAN manage. Such a great post. Am am also grateful my husband realized nutrition plays a major roll in later health.
Thank you, Donna, I appreciate your words of encouragement. Yes, I’m touched by the stories that others are sharing about their journeys. While it’s sad there are so many, it helps us to not feel so alone during it.
Aw, I know how your mom felt. My mom had a stroke that kickstarted our journey too, I sobbed in her kitchen as I set up her meds and she would sit there and not know what to say. I didn’t know what our new life would evolve into. I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. I hope your mom is doing okay.
Yes, I’m with you too on a hubby who has realized nutrition is so important. It is the basis of our metabolic systems, cheers to you and the exercise you do too, you’ll be around a long time to share adventures & wind kisses together as well as with your grandkids! 💞💗💌
And I just had my annual physical this morning and my doctor said: “See you next year…I love saying that Donna” It sure matters.
Thank you.
That is wonderful news, Donna, congratulations!! Well done 🎉✨💗
A l’heure d’aujourd’hui, aucun médicament y compris l’Aricept ne peut enrayer les troubles cognitifs de type maladie d’Alzheimer et apparentées. Les atteintes cérébrales sont definitives. Compte-tenu du prix et des risques encourus par ces médicaments, rien ne vaut que les soins “relationnels” et palliatifs : ergothérapie, orthophonie …
Depuis septembre, mes parents vivent avec notre couple. J’ai suivi les cours de l’association France Alzheimer. Tous les jours, nous résistons contre les dégâts causés par cette maladie, à Mamie. A 93 ans, notre souhait est qu’elle profite le plus longtemps possible, de sa famille bien aimante !
Hi Anne, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Grandma, wow, 93 and still smiling with the love you’re sharing, she is lucky you are looking out for her.
I’ve translated your comment so others can read your story too.
To date, no drug, including Aricept, can curb cognitive impairment such as Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders. Brain damage is permanent. Given the price and risks involved in these drugs, nothing beats “relational” and palliative care: occupational therapy, speech therapy, etc. Since September, my parents have been living with our couple. I attended the courses of the association France Alzheimer. Every day, we resist the damage caused by this disease to Grandma. At 93 years old, our wish is that she enjoys her loving family for as long as possible!
L’exercice physique, la marche , si possible tous les jours , sont préconisés parmis les meilleurs remèdes.
Yes, exercise is SO important and walking is excellent and easy and free and can be done daily.
Did you know that you can tell the early signs of the disease by the gait of a person walking and if they swing their arms properly or not?
I’ve translated your comment below: Physical exercise, walking, if possible every day, are recommended among the best remedies.
A l’heure des fausses informations diffusées avec grands bruits et à l’heure de la mise en cause des scientifiques, il faut faire attention.
En tant que docteur en pharmacie à la veille de la retraite, je m’inscris en faux contre la diabolisation systématique des médicaments allopathiques. Face à un effet secondaire, il faut toujours y opposer la balance: bénéfices/risques.
Yours Anne alias Radaghast
Hi Anne, thank you for all your years of helping people with their medications. I wish you well on your retirement. I have a hunch you’ll still be finding great information to share!
Ah, yes, I agree. Thank you so much for sharing your advice. In the USA advertising about medications, etc., seems as though the advertisements may contribute to people asking for a cure that they might not know would contraindicate another medication they’re taking. It can be a mess to figure out. Thankfully there are pharmacists who catch it when they can.
I’ve translated your comment below: At a time when false information is being spread with great fanfare and at a time when scientists are being called into question, we must be careful. As a doctor of pharmacy on the eve of retirement, I disagree with the systematic demonization of allopathic medicines. When faced with a side effect, it is always necessary to weigh the balance between benefits and risks. Yours Anne aka Radaghast
Thanks so much for this post, Shelley. My mum had Alzheimer’s, I don’t remember her taking any meds, this was back in the 90s but I do think doctors just give medication out unnecessarily without explanation. I’ve been on levothyroxine for many years for hypothyroidism and only just found out the I shouldn’t have anything dairy for four hours after taking the meds.
Hi Cathy. You’re welcome for the post. Aw, sorry to hear about your mom, thank you for sharing your story. Yeah, I don’t remember them having any meds in the 90s for it. I don’t disagree that meds are dispensed rapidly without explanation of the risks and side effects. I know for sure that in my dad’s instance, he has never read the side-effects flyer that is given each time. The doctors and the pharmacist in his case both had less than 20 minutes with my dad, and that, I think, contributes to the situations in an unfortunate manner.
The 90s was the time when we were seeing, even more so, the adverse affects of our society’s overconsumption of processed sugars. She also drank a lot of diet pop thinking that would be better for her. Sugar and sweets were my mom’s addiction. Her diabetes took her down the path to vascular dementia.
Oh, man…that’s unfortunate that you weren’t told about the conflict with dairy. I’m glad to read you know it now.