Going Gray

Where did I find the motivation to go gray from?

20 years ago, I hadn’t a clue I’d be coloring my hair, let alone not coloring it again. It was the furthest thing from my 37-year-old mind. Where and when did I decide to go gray then? Well, it wasn’t 911.

But, that year did change my life as well as Mr.’s too. I did start graying around the edges back then. I kind of liked the salt and pepper look. The hairstylists always wanted to low-light my hair to make it less noticeable.

There must’ve been some major inspiration to cover up the gray at some point in time? My best advice is to look back at the evolution of yourself and your hair over the years to find out where you’ve been inspired to do something or not.

That’s where I discovered my inspiration to color and to ultimately let my hair go gray.

And where I also mustered up the guts to cut my own hair. Why stop at stopping coloring, stop going to the salon altogether has been my motto for the last 5 years.

Cheers to me…today is my 5 year anniversary of the day I decided to go natural gray. I’ve evolved so much since I made that big decision. Where did the time go? I can’t believe it’s been 5 years.

15 years before that, I was earning every gray hair I had in 2001. Mr. had lost his corporate job of 19 years, and I was the first to find work. I found myself suddenly not a stay-at-home mom and back into the workforce. With a streamlined hairdo and young kids in school. I was the insurance getter for the family. That was hard enough to adjust to.

That year, 911 happened too.

While I was searching for a job, Mr. was adjusting to not heading to work on a daily basis. We were deciding if we could still afford private schools for the girls. So many unknowns.

Then on that beautiful clear September day, we put the kids on the bus and got busy with life. Until the news caught our attention. We watched as the twin towers came down and I’ll never forget how we all united in the US on 9/12/2001. The world stopped spinning, and yet, we all had to keep going on with life together. I wish we could find that togetherness spirit again.

That was 11 years before I’d be saying goodbye to my mom. Her dementia prevented her from remembering 911. Her hair was all-natural and super short at the end of her life. She loved it.

February 2012

Sometime in between those years, I had been convinced by coworkers that I needed to color my hair to stay younger-looking. I guess it worked – I did so up until Sept 12, 2016.

February 2012 – she passed away on 4/11/2012.

During my time in that workforce, I had also gotten braces. Back when dental insurance covered braces for kids and adults. My daughters and I bonded in the process while they got their braces too. I had the worst experience of all three, but I’d do it again!

After all, I had lots of years of those crooked teeth to correct so I’d feel comfortable smiling without worrying about my teeth.

In 2012, my mom passed away and the company I had found my niche in the workforce at closed. I had no choice but to find a new job. I couldn’t quit coloring my hair then…so I bought a new suit and found a new job. My hairdresser found the ‘right’ color to make it so and I was thankful to be employed again.

And then in 2016, I decided that coloring my hair every six weeks was such a pain in the ass, I was done with it. I was heading into full-on empty-nest mode and I was going to let my natural-born hair color grow back in. My brother had done so too and so had my dad by the time I got through the growing out the pretend color phases.

The best moment of freedom I had was when the remaining colored hair was cut off and I went short-haired again. Not as short as the 2001 look, but short. It took about 9 months to get to that point I felt comfortable with not having longer hair.

And I never, ever, ever want to go back to coloring my hair again! I do like the shorter look, but I’m not sure if I want to go short or not? Short hair is more maintenance than I’m up for. Notice I wasn’t brave enough to cut my hair short yesterday!

Every evolutionary moment has shown me what matters most in my life. Whenever I look hard and close, there’s beauty to be found in every stage of life. Where I go from here, time will tell.

And I know my camera will capture something besides my hair along the way. But first, one more shot…for the memory book.

Post Inspiration – Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “where.” Use it any way you’d like!

PS – Where do you find inspiration to embrace your natural self – it doesn’t have to be hair color either? Where were you when you made a life-changing decision?

23 thoughts on “Where did I find the motivation to go gray from?

  1. I think you look great with the gray hair, Shelley! Great photos of you, that’s not easy to do. I once had hair below my shoulders, today it’s buzzed off super short every day to keep it looking smooth. Lovely family photos too, thank you for sharing these memories. I see that your Canon has the 18-55mm lens attached, that’s a really good focal length, very versatile. Have a great week!

    1. Aw, thank you for your compliments, John. Short hair is easy to take care of, and it requires more maintenance to keep it at the preferred length. Mr. is like yours, nice and short and easy to take care of.
      Yes, that’s my favorite lens. In manual mode I can do lots of macros too.
      I hope you’re having a great week too!

      1. It will be a good week, have an appointment with my heart doctor this afternoon, a one-year checkup is all. I don’t have that lens these days, just the 50mm and a 24/70mm.

  2. I was kind of like you, I got tired of spending the time and money at the hair salon. Your hair is curly like mine can be, and it’s easy to ‘style’ by not doing anything. So the only reason I was there was color. And my stylist, by design or not kept going lighter until I couldn’t really see the line of demarcation and then we just decided, why bother! And then covid. I was so thankful I wasn’t on a six week coloring adventure then! So nice to stay home and not worry about it. Also very glad I was retired! I went for a trim a couple weeks ago because it had gotten very long and stringy. My hair has thinned considerably over the years, hidden somewhat by coloring. Now that there’s no color it’s very obvious, at least to me. So too long it makes me look like a crazy old grandmother/witch. Oh wait. Maybe that’s more than the hair. Hmmmm….

    1. Aw, Dawn, we’re kindred spirits when it comes to our long gray hair! Thank you for sharing your story. I wasn’t as advanced as you were in a gradual removal of the demarcation line. I went cold-turkey. That was a mind game period in my life. It has all been worth it, though. I know several people who took advantage of 2020 to go gray and aren’t turning back. I feel my hair is thinner too – and more delicate. I think that’s normal? Mine gets stringy too when it’s too long. After trimming it this past weekend, it’s all bouncy and happy. I should trim it more often, but then I’d be back to a schedule…nope, not going there! LOL!

    1. Yes, indeed, 20 years changes us, no matter how old we are when we start out! I suspect, I’m not alone in coming through a lot of stuff in that timeframe.
      PS – welcome back from your vacation. Glad to see you came to visit our area of the US!

  3. Good on you to make difficult decisions and realise that you are happy no matter what. 👍🤗😘💕
    My grey started slightly at 16 and it wasn’t until my late 50s that the grey took over. Now even that is disappearing but I don’t think I’ll get to be “an egg shell blond” as my grandfather used to say. 😂😂
    PS I found out that blond is masculine and blonde is feminine in English 😀

    1. Hi Brian, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
      Ah, yes, happiness is often a choice. I was in 7th grade when my first gray hairs showed up. My HomeEc teacher told me I’d be fully gray by 20. She was wrong. At least I learned how to cook from her. 🤣🤔
      Hair does tend to thin with age. What did your grandfather call gray hair? I’ve never heard of the egg shell blonde…but makes sense. I don’t recommend googling images for it though. 😉 😉😁

  4. I’ve always said you look great with the gray hair. I think after about 40 people generally do, so just think how good you’ll look when you get there….

  5. I’d also heard that many people stopped coloring their hair during the pandemic. It is as if the decision was made for them. Yours looks great though – definitely a good choice! My hair is stick straight (genetics have helped keep the gray count low so far) and cutting my own bangs doesn’t usually turn out too well. LOL.
    Your family photos are so very sweet. Each one is its own story of happy lives well lived. Your family history is well documented (as is mine!) and will be a treasure for future generations.

    1. Yes, many people let the pandemic make choices for them. Some good, some not so good, IMHO.
      It’s easier to hide bad hair cuts with curly hair – it’s quite forgiving. My daughters learned to cut their hair too. I used to cut theirs when they were young, mostly fixing their own attempts. Fun memories. Yes, I’m like you – love to document historical moments in life. I too hope the photos are treasures for future generations.

      1. My biggest hope is that my family photo collection will be valued by future generations. Hard to know since they take up a whole bookcase and may not make the cut someday….

  6. Well you look good with your gray hair Shelley. Next month it will be two years since I had my hair professionally cut with highlights and lowlights. I didn’t like the lowlights and said as much but I like Jill and didn’t want to be too critical, so the pandemic was a perfect “out” to say goodbye to the highlights. I don’t like my hair color now. There is not enough gray to be called gray – it’s just long strands mixed in, but it is wiry around my face, which I don’t like. I do need a professional cut as my own haircuts leave a lot to be desired, trust me.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Linda. Hair is a very personal thing. I’m sure you’ll be happy with hat weather as you’ve said. My hair goes from calm to frizz in a humid moment. It is what it is. It’s fun to document good hair days when/if they happen.

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