Adventures · Cheers

My 54-year-old self’s gift to my 84-year-old self

I call myself a baby of the baby boomers.  I’m one of the last babies born in that generation.  We’re a fun bunch of peeps – soon to crash the current system of support for health insurance and social security.

Nice gift to future generations, right?  Yay, go team BB!

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Dearest Shelley, my, oh, my, that’s quite a dismal attitude for a birthday girl to have, isn’t it?

Yeah…I guess so.  But…there are days where I’m frankly scared of the future.

On the flip side, I’m thankful I do know important information to help me as I age.  I wish everyone knew it and that collectively the BB’s were willing and able to do something about it.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. – Abraham Lincoln

If we focus now on changing our own health, (by diet, exercise, sleep, stress reduction, and removing toxins) the gifts we’d received in our future would be worth planning for as we age.

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If my 84-year-old self could ask for a gift that everyone could benefit from, it would be for the babies of the baby boomers to wise up and pay attention to what we can do to prevent poor cognitive health as we age.

Nobody gets to live life backward.  Look ahead, that is where your future lies. – Ann Landers

2018 figures show that 5.7 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and that figure is projected to rise to 14 million by 2050.  That’s a lot of us…

For my 84th birthday, I’d ask to eliminate that projection for memory loss.

The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment:   You create a good future by creating a good present.  – Eckhart Tolle

I only know for sure I have to do my best right now to help myself.  We all give ourselves that gift when we are our own advocates with our doctors.  They are only as good as the information we provide them or ask them to provide to us.

If I died suddenly today, my hope for the future generations is that they are paying attention to the health mistakes the BB’s have made.  I won’t be there to say, “I told you so.”

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When I think of my 84-year-old self, I ask questions like, “What do I wish to be told to those who didn’t know me during my early years or don’t know my wishes for the end of life?”

If I find myself in the care of a stranger, I want to be able to continue being my own advocate.  I know first hand working with those living with dementia, it isn’t easy when memory loss leads their way to the end of life.

If there’s a way to find ounces of prevention now, you better damn well know that I’m gonna give it my best shot.

Someday, though, I’ll be gone and my kids will wonder about things I’ve forgotten to tell them.  I’ve got 30 years to write some stuff down.  Maybe that’s why they gave me this book for my birthday?  They watched me say goodbye to my mom due to vascular dementia.  She died when she was 70.  There’s a void of answers to the questions I wish I had been able to ask her or stories I wish she had been able to tell me before she left this world way too early.

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My gift to my 84-year-old self (yeah…I’m planning for another 30 years) is to do my best to make up for the stupid unhealthy choices and mistakes I made in my 20s-30s-40s.  I still have a chance to learn from them and change my future.  A future of skipping out on overconsumption of alcohol, trans fats, and sugar is a really good starting spot…

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At 84, I want to reflect and tell stories that I remember about my life.  I’d tell you that I’m glad I’m still taking photos.  Maybe with a new camera by then?

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I’d take you on a walk as we talk, because, yeah…I’ll still be walking every day.  Exercise is the BEST defense for Alzheimer’s.

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I’d tell stories of the moments I enjoyed with my toes dipped in the sand and the waves splashing on my feet.

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Yep, to have my memory intact would be a great gift I could give myself for my 84th birthday.

In the meantime, I’m just 54 – and I gotta get to work.  I’m still a working gal – I’m not ready to retire yet.

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Wait…before I go, do you wanna know if I did I get any gifts for my birthday?  Yep, I did – the best gifts arrived and they weren’t wrapped up in shiny paper.

My gifts…

~A light dusting of snow on the ground that glistened in the moonlight.  It snowed the day I was born too.

~A brave little dog turned a tiny spot yellow in the snow before he jumped back into the warmth of the house.  He’s still able to get around on his own, that’s a gift I’ll treasure for as long as possible.  We have many more walks to take together!

~A freshly brewed cup of coffee and a book of wisdom for me to read and consider this year.  54 is a year when everyone should be asking for baseline measurement of cognitive and memory functioning – I’m seeing my doctor in January, she’ll be proud of my health and my desire to be an advocate for myself.  I still wish memory screening was covered by insurance – that would be a nice birthday present.

~Recalling short-term memories of my daughters that were here for Thanksgiving and weekend shopping.  And pie…and the book they gave me.  They’re thinking the same thing as I am.  So many memories yet untold and perfect for our future conversations together.

~Lastly, but not least, the gift of anticipation for my birthday dinner – steak on the grill, cooked by my favorite Chef – who by the way melted my heart once again as he danced with me by the firelight to one of my favorite Christmas songs.  I’m mighty thankful he’s here with me to enjoy 54!

Post Inspiration – Birthday and Lens-Artist #21 Splash

PS – Thank you for being here to read my words – you all make my birthday special!  

 

 

27 thoughts on “My 54-year-old self’s gift to my 84-year-old self

  1. Happy birthday! I’m doing what I can to stay sharp. Sudoku and solitaire seem to be doing the job for me. I’m from smack-dab in the middle of the generation…

  2. Happy birthday to a fellow Baby Boomer! You (and I) are doing our children a favor by writing down our thoughts and publishing them in our blogs. All of my sons and DILs have said they feel as though reading the blog has brought them closer to me, helped them get to know me. I would bet your kids feel the same way.

    I remember my mom at 84. she was a dynamo – living life her own way, traveling, still having fun. She is a great role model for me. I hope I can live my life like Mom lived hers.

    1. Thank you, Laurie! Yes, the kids enjoy my posts – especially about the ‘good ol’ days’! Yay for longevity for you, and with all of your exercise, you’re on the right track to a long and healthy life!

  3. Thank you for this post. You expressed many things that I myself have worried about.
    Loved the Lincoln quote. You made good use of the stats, intermingling them with your
    thoughts and these good quotes that made this a great informative and very interesting post.

  4. One more happy birthday from me. Those are wonderful gifts. I try to keep my mind as sharp as possible too. It’s the rest of the body that needs an overhaul!

    1. Thank you, Janet! With all your scrapbooking, writing, and music events you’re on the right track for keeping your mind sharp. LOL – aging bodies, no matter how well we take care of them tend to look like an overhaul is needed! 😉

  5. What a fab birthday Shelley 🙂 You could always pinch Spike Milligan’s epitaph “I told you I was sick” 😀 😀

  6. I loved you post yesterday as well. you have such a beautiful family. I was not able to keep mine together so that is a gift in itself. Again Happy Birthday. And as BBs, as I am in the first of those years, I think the worse things we did as a whole was to create fast food and preservatives for our food. Those two things have not help the overall health of people. But we have learned a lot over the years and hopefully will make changes for the next generations to come. So enjoy your day, fix what you can fix and pray about the rest. And like john said – mind games keep us sharp.

    1. Thank you, Anita – I appreciate your words of encouragement! Yes, our fast foods, preservatives, and trans fats….etc…etc… haven’t helped us, but at least we know better now like you said! 🙂

  7. It is not fun growing old and you have a good attitude about it Shelley. It is important to keep your mind sharp and I recently met a person, my same age (62), in her fourth year of dementia. I came home feeling very badly because here was a person my age and her husband, same age, and now just a shadow of her former self. Very sad. My friend Evelyn is 62 and she quit her job as a legal secretary last year to go back to school and get her masters in gerontology administration. She will be done next year and embarking on a new career at age 63. That seems unfathomable to me. I am bored with my job and there is no stimulation for my mind there, so I am glad I have the blog to be creative and use my brain, plus I enjoy interacting with fellow bloggers. If I did not have the blog, my mind would be numb by the time I sign off from work every day, and I would worry about myself, that much is true. Your post was interesting and I hope we are still posting and comparing notes for many years to come. Happy Birthday Shelley!

    1. Yes, Linda, you’ve hit the nail on the head! Every single person is at risk for dementia. We all have a brain. It’s a brain disease, so anything we can do to keep our brain healthy can’t hurt us in any way. I’m thankful for my blog and fellow bloggers for the same reasons – yes, I, too, hope we are posting and comparing notes for years to come! Thank you for the birthday wishes!!

  8. Hi Shelley,

    I’ve come to your blog by way of Andrew of The Lonely Author Blog – though I can’t see how he’s at all lonely, given how many admirers he has, including me.

    You’ve really touched me with this post. My own mother passed away last March, about 6 weeks shy of her 90th birthday, after having suffered for about 18 years with Alzheimer’s disease. I served as her DPOA for the last 10 years of her life, which means I suffered with her. We family who are their advocates ride the same dangerous current with those we love.

    I agree that making better choices when we’re young is outstanding advice for everyone, for so many reasons. Four of my reasons include grandchildren. Our modern world makes it tempting, easy, and dangerous to do damage just by eating, because so much of what we eat isn’t really food and lacks nutritional substance. You are absolutely right about this point. Exercising mindfully is another excellent idea.

    But there’s something else that must also be recognized: some people are genetically predisposed to developing Alzheimer’s. The APOE4 allele, a genetic crapshoot that picks us without our advance approval, is strongly associated with the disease. No matter what a person does to try to prevent it, if you have this one, you are much more likely to develop Alz. My mom did so many things right, but this gene confounded all her good efforts.

    On my blog, though devoted to creative writing, I’ve often written about what I’ve observed of how this disease devastates the ill and their family, how it frustrates medical research, and ignores healthy lifestyle strategies. I’m not a professional in any way – not a physician, clinical researcher, chemist, or caregiver. I’m just a lay bystander who’s observed and sobbed while standing by my mom’s side. I have witnessed a lot.

    I’ve also written an (as yet unpublished) novel, not about my mom, but about a family searching for a safe and compassionate Alzheimer’s-centric residence where mom can live. I’m not trying to promote my writing to you, only to state that my comment is not meant to disparage your thoughtful and cautionary post. Sometimes, at least at this moment, some people cannot escape the brutal grip of this disease.

    Someday there will be a prevention, someday a cure, but until then, I wish my 84-year-old self (much closer to 84 than you) and yours, a safe and healthy life with many opportunities to live, love, laugh, and learn.

    Thank you for reading my comment – and thank you for your wonderful words. Happy Birthday to you.

    1. Hi Sharon – thank you for your heartfelt words of wisdom. Thank you so much for stopping by to read my blog. Yes – Andrew and his lonely blog are very special – his poetry is so moving, I’m glad he was able to connect us here in the Blogosphere! I’ll check your blog out this weekend when my reading time allows me more opportunity to absorb and enjoy! I’m so sorry to hear of you and your mother’s long journey. I can sympathize with your role and the challenges you endured. You’re right, the genetic form of Alzheimer’s is the hardest to avoid. The advantage of knowing in advance about having the genes is being able to plan for your care needs at the end of life and to have your family understand your wishes. My mom’s name was Sharron (with 2 ‘r’s’), and her best friend has the genetic form of Alzheimer’s. Two close friends shared the journey of dementia. Mom’s friend is still alive and she knew she would eventually manifest the symptoms, but knowing in advance, she and her family planned well and made many decisions for the future. The type of dementia my mom had is one of the few that are preventable. Vascular dementia is a result of poor lifestyle choices and having all the risk factors didn’t help her at all. I’m not an expert either, but I do believe that families who live with dementia are experts on their own or their loved ones’ journeys. I volunteer for the state I live in as a Challenging Behavior Specialist, Dementia Specialist, Dementia Friendly Trainer, and I volunteer for the Alzheimer’s Association as a community trainer. I also work for memory care facilities.
      I adore our residents and especially seeing them still have many moments of joy despite the horrors of the disease. Regardless of having all that understanding and ‘knowledge’, I will always say, “When you meet one person with dementia, you’ve met only one person (type) of dementia.” Dementia manifests itself uniquely in each person. Like you, I’ve witnessed a lot, and none of it is easy or pretty to watch. But, I do believe a community that becomes educated on the risks, the causes, the possible preventions, is one that will help us all in the long run, and especially for those living with dementia. That education provides a chance to live well with the disease. I’m optimistic of the findings in the book I shared – there is hope if we use the knowledge to change our lifestyles. Again, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your wisdom. Best wishes on your book, that sounds very interesting. I too wish you and yours a safe and healthy life with moments you’ll treasure and remember! xx

  9. Very interesting Shelley. I’m a bit ahead of u in the BB queue but feel much the same. We do everything we can but genetics does seem to play a part. Best we can do is play the hand we’re given and hope it’s enough. Both of my parents died before age 70 so my hope is that I live long enough to worry about memory loss!!! So far so good 🙂

    1. Thank you, Tina – I appreciate hearing your perspective. I wish you a long and healthy life – so sorry your parents passed away before they saw 70, as my mom’s doctor said when mom passed at 70 – “That’s far too young!”

  10. Ha ha, I’m a baby of the lucky generation, the generation that preceded the baby boomers. However, I daren’t suggest that my bride of 50 years ago is a granny of the baby boomers 😉

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