My morning routine starts with cortisol filled moments that spring me out of bed. Thanks to our elderly cat, Dessy. She has dementia and is up at 2:28 am. Her routine is initiated by one of our cats making cat puking noises. Followed by her paw nudge (hopefully it’s clean) on my shoulder indicating it is time to “feed me”. Impossible for me to sleep through all that.
But, they’re so sweet, right?
The cats have added to my work load. Before I know it, I look up at the clock and it’s 3:48 am when I hear the sounds of Mr. waking up. Time for the foggy mood to lift.
Is it a wonder I’m tired around 1 pm? I do my best to stay alert and at the ready to react. Like a hawk keeping an eye on so many things at one time. But…yep, I am tired.
Each passing day and month, we’re busy adjusting. Letting go of things we used to do and running with what we can do. “For now” has become our mantra. The little miracles of recovery fueling us. It’s a quaint revival of how we’re learning to be the new us.
- ✅ Getting in/out of the car is much easier – we’ll be learning from PT how to do it without the Turner Pro as soon as the weather is warmer. One less piece of equipment I need to lift and cart around!
Remember pre-stroke how Mr. was chef of the family? Well…drum roll…we have both missed his cooking. I have upped my recipes, but feel most in control when I can cook recipes on repeat to relieve my tired brain that can’t seem to think of one more meal.
Mr. surprised me yesterday when he asked for us to go to the meat market and get steaks. “I’ll stay in the car while you go in the store to pick out a nice steak for dinner.”
Great, I thought, “What kind do I pick out? How will I cook steaks? – I don’t know how to cook steaks!”
The look on his drooling for steak face told me, “Never mind, just ask the clerk in the store and no worries from a guy who loves steaks and used to cook them often.” Guess it’s somewhat like riding a bike once you learn how. So, okay, steak it is and we headed back home.
While I was cleaning up puke and other messes in a different room, Mr. went to work and prepped the steak. He found the avocado oil, seasoning, utensils, thermometer, and asked me for a plate that was out of his reach. He plugged in the air fryer. After that, he cooked it for us in the air fryer for the first time since April of 2024. From a wheelchair and with only one hand. A gloriously heart-melting wonderful moment in his recovery. And, it was extra delicious since I didn’t have to cook!
The forever changing mode of stroke recovery keeps us alert and learning as we go. We’re doing it together. My shoulders have gotten stronger (I just sat up straighter…did you too?). Our broken spirits reminiscing about the losses are lifted up each day by gratitude. His of me, helping him. Mine of Mr.’s hugs, kisses, and “I love you” words. His strong, one arm hugs make me melt. So sweet…like a bluebird in spring. (Making the photo fit the post ;-))
The unknowns remain overwhelming at times. Hard to comprehend, let alone plan for anything about our future. Undetermined retirement plans look different from pre-stroke. Those plans were vague, yet somehow easily possible. The ‘idea’ of retirement was forced upon Mr./us. Our rental properties are going bye-bye one at a time to the right buyers. The reality of missing what Mr. did/could do is, no sh*t, HARD. He did almost everything for running the business. All the talks we had in the past about selling the properties seem less hard to have now. Guess forced retirement has its perks. And we’re looking forward to not being landlords! Oh, the stories we could tell…someday. Our energies are focused on new things.
Mr.’s progress continues. He’s been working hard at PT and relearning to walk with a hemi-walker. His longest distance so far is 187.01 feet.
The glimpses of the independence that will give him fill us with motivation. When he stands tall with the walker it reminds me of how short I am. And how much I continue to look up to him all these years.
A bit of other noteworthy action is happening in our lives. As if we didn’t have enough to do. Another couple of men have entered my life. How dare I cheat on Mr., right?
Well…one is my dad. Sadly, in my absence in his life since Mr.’s stroke finds me/us at a difficult crossroads. His dementia has gotten much worse and safety became a main concern. We moved him to an assisted living near our home. It’s nice to have him closer. I hope he forgives me for making the shocking decision to do so as POA-HC. His current recall of memories has him stuck in a sad time in his life nearly 4 decades ago. Thankfully he still remembers me and my brother though.
Perhaps the role of great grandpa will help? The other little guy in my life is due to bless us with his arrival in August. We’re super excited to be on the path to grandparenting! It’ll be fun to see how grandpa and grandkid learn to walk/run independently together in the coming years.
The circle of life is amazingly beautiful. It’s spring again, and our adventures shall continue! (See the turkeys have returned to our yard too?)
Hugs to all of you from me, the gal who reads every comment, yet never finds the time to reply…some day…some day, I will, I promise!
It’s always good to see a notification of a new post from you, Shelley, but this one was extra special. I loved the photos of Mr. cooking those steaks. I can only imagine how happy and proud he was to prepare the main course and how happy you were to watch. That must have been a very good steak. Your other photos are also excellent. I hope spring finds you soon and the warmer temps make it easier to move ahead. Congratulations on the planned addition to your family in August.
Hi Shelley, Hi Vance! Its so great to see you back on the blog. ❤️ I’m so happy that Vance is making progress towards walking and cooking too, the steak looks delicious. Lovely photos, Shelley! Congratulations on the grand baby, so exciting! 🤗
I’m sorry about your dad’s decline, Shelley, hugs from far away for him. 🙏🏻😊 And, thanks for stopping by my IG account once in a while, all is well down here in the warm and windy desert, the 100s will be here soon. Hi Vance, you are awesome, dude! 😎👍🏻
Great to hear from you! So happy that Mr. is progressing. I can only imagine how your lives have changed. Such tenacity you guys have…it’s really admirable.
A grandbaby!! How exciting! So happy for you. And I understand the aging parent dance, although my mom doesn’t have dementia. She has had a lot of health problems and moves in the past two years. At 94, she is no longer able to do her daily tasks of living, but has settled well into a nursing facility and the ongoing dietary and medical monitoring has her feeling her best in a long while, so that’s a relief to me. Circle of life, eh?
Enjoy the spring…aren’t those fresh green colors the best?
Shelley, at one time, early on in Mr.’s stroke journey, I do remember telling you that the #1 Chef would return again in fine form one day. Congratulations to the beginning of Mr.’s help in the kitchen, maybe not to the extent it was before June 21, 2024, but it’s gettin’ there. You still cook better than I do (although I do a mean crockpot meal. 🙂
I didn’t know there was a name for this type of walking aid. My mom had one for years and we just referred to it as a cane – Mom’s only had one handle though and if we were out in a store or anywhere with people, we had to watch no one tripped it over as it stuck out kind of far. Believe it or not, I tripped over it one day, in the kitchen, where she had it by the chair she sat in. It was always in that spot, but I came inside from working outside on a hot day, with sweat in my eyes and went into the fridge for a cool drink and tripped over it. I hurt my toe – never went to the doctor, but taped my ring-finger toe, buddy style, to the middle toe and that was that. As to this walking aid, even though you could fold it for portability, we were advised at the home health care store, not to fold it down, as it would wear out where it folds and it might buckle. So, if that is an option, not necessarily in the house, but in a vehicle, I thought I’d pass that along for you.
Congrats on you both becoming grandparents – the blessed event will bring some more excitement in your lives. I’m sorry to hear about your dad and Dessy too. I’m glad your bluebird was cheery looking, not like the “Grumpy Bluebird” that made the rounds on the internet a few years ago.
No need to reply. You know how I feel and what I am thinking 🥰