Looking at life through a new lens

I’ve been wondering lately if I’m the one in the family who needs to grow the most? Am I the one that is scared all the time and fearful of new things?  Or is it more that after 53 years of life, I’ve been there – done that enough to know what I like or dislike and navigate toward things I like more times than not?

Is it a rut?

Is it my comfort zone?

Or…is it, “Oh, shit, I’ve become old.”

Nope…don’t go there…I’m NOT OLD!

Okay…so if I’m not OLD, then what is it?

What am I scared of?

Am I a scaredy cat, or a smart dog who needs to learn new tricks?

I think it’s the latter.

I also think my kids are incredibly clever in their subtle ways they show me I need to continue growing.  I always encouraged their life pursuits, but, of course, my encouragement was accompanied by comments throwing in a twist of, “What the hell are you thinking?” or “Do you know how much that’s going to cost?” or “Are you serious, what if you get hurt?” or “I wouldn’t do that in a million years, but, yeah…if you wanna, go ahead and give it a try…”  They always continued on, and they’ve learned a lot in the process.

They were also clever to give me their hand-me-ups as a consolation prize (things we originally purchased for them because they had to have it).  And then I’d figure out how to use them or re-use them in my life.  I hate to waste money!

Shh, don’t tell them, but when they were having fun with the new toys, I was jealous seeing how much fun they had, so I’ve been happy to get the returned gifts.  One of my favorite re-gifted gifts is my camera.  It is probably 10 years old by now?  I’ve lost track.  But, it still works great, and I continue to experiment with it daily.  But, I’ve also noticed, I’ve become comfortable with it.  Maybe too comfortable?  Nah, not too comfortable, I’d prefer to say I’m a smart dog, I just need to keep trying new tricks.

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. – Michael Jordan

For Mother’s Day, my daughters gave me something new – an adapter for a lens which was for a hand-me-up item that my youngest collected in her college years.  She never used it herself, but she and her sister thought I might like to play with a different lens, so they bought me the adapter.

Okay…heck, yeah…I can be brave, I’ll try new things…

First attempt and I was thinking – “What the hell?”

The second attempt – “Am I going to need to buy something else to make this work, how much is that going to cost?”

Mr:  “Give it to me, let me try.  Oh, you have to adjust the focus with the lens, not the camera body.”

Me:  “Oh, crap…that’s hard to do and awkward.  Yuck…”

The third attempt – “Man this lens is heavy, are my wrists going to get hurt using it? I must be too shaky…too wimpy…too weak?”

The fourth attempt – “In a million years, will I ever get the hang of this thing?”

The next day…you got it right, out came my trusty old camera lens.

I’m such a scaredy cat…but damn, I do love my other camera lens…Post Inspiration:

Linda Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday:  Smart Dog, Scaredy Cat

Special recognition to Dan Antion who I admire.  He’s a blogger like me who can’t stick to one line on One-Liner Wednesdays.  Oh, and he designed this badge, too.  Thanks, Dan, I too will miss seeing the badge on Wednesdays!