Adventures · Going Gray

The day I ate my words

Even if the groundhog isn’t the only one that has to eat his/her words, I’m glad we’ve both made it to the end of February 2019 alive!  It was rough.  Made me darn-tooting tough, though.

Yesterday, I literally took on a down-right dagnabit grouchiest meanest nastiest version of my short selfish self ever.

I’m not talking just shortness in height.  I was impressively tall with nastiness.

Gawd…I didn’t even want to be with myself.

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Good thing I don’t really have direct reports.  Well, I do have one, she gave me the cup.  It was conveniently her day off, so um, she’ll never know what she missed and will still believe the cup is appropriate when she appears today.

The other people on the receiving end of my emails, don’t know I have the cup so they can’t disagree.

Ever have one of those days where you’re extra crabby?

I don’t know if it was the weather or what it was?

Even if it was damn pretty out, with the white and the blue sky and lovely sparkling of snow on the branches of the trees, I tended to believe it is more appropriately pretty arriving in December, not February.

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It looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy took over snow production and replicated versions of himself everywhere.

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There were snow shark mouths spouting off in a sea of white, right along with me.

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Every time I looked outside, I couldn’t help but think its a lot of scary snow to be blessed with this late in the season.  That whiteness has to go somewhere when it starts to melt.

So then I kicked into worry mode.  Because, you know, worrying always helps things get better.

Then I got crabbier when Mr. reminded me how worrying doesn’t help.  And I started to crave comfort food to keep my mouth occupied.

The snarky remarks resting on the tip of my tongue swirled and swirled, just waiting to spill out on an innocent bystander.

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Every email I got, I’d write the snarkiest reply ever.  To feel better.  And then I’d delete it.  Some I just let go as is, I figured the recipient would delete it anyhow.  I knew I could at least make them feel better somehow.

It wasn’t the best timing for a bad mood kind of day.

I had to go out of the house, so had to actually get dressed in layers to look the part of a professional who meant to look that way.  I put on my tallest a** kicking boots to complement the skinny jeans.

Jumped into the car and drove merrily on my way off to a couple of meetings I found out about at the last-minute.

All the way there, I thought to myself, “Oh, joy, I can’t wait.  Just pretend I’m happy to be there is all I gotta do…soon I’ll be on the beach and not in meetings or responding to emails…just think of that…?”

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I drove through a weird little town I hadn’t seen in a long time, or so I thought?  Funny how snow transforms a city.  I thought we had a lot of snow in our yard.  Nope, I was wrong.  It’s everywhere.

And driving in it requires one to pay extra attention and not have your brain filled with snarkiness or off soaking up the sun on a beach.  You need both hands on the wheel and both eyes forward, no sideways glares at idiots talking on their phones.

Plus you have to just creep the car forward slowly enough to see out into the intersections to avoid any oncoming cars from crashing into you.

It’s stress-producing, like riding sidekick with teenagers who are learning how to drive.

No amount of brakes at the mercy of my feet were sufficient to provide calmness as I drove to the meetings.

I made it there, but my mood hadn’t improved.  So I bit my tongue the whole time.  The taste of blood wasn’t exactly appetizing, but no-one saw me drooling red, so I think they’ll invite me back again.  Maybe?

I was happy to get back to my car.  I jumped in and sighed and checked for blood before I drove back home.  I stayed focused on the relief to be done with the meetings and made it safely home.  On the way, there weren’t any accidents, no near misses, and no time to gawk at the idiots.

The taste of blood was still there though…

Mr. stayed clear of me as much as possible throughout the day, until dinnertime.  Feedings usually help my moods.  He’s such a good chef – cute too!

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While we were listening to the weather report of the pending frigid cold wave about to appear this weekend and into next, I was secretly thankful for the upcoming cold instead of warmth.  I’ll soon be at a beach, so I don’t care.

Yikes, sorry…that’s really mean of me, right?  Jeez.

Then I heard the words that would cause me to eat the words I had proclaimed earlier in the morning on my post.

“I’m not short.”

The weather guy confirmed the additional measurements of snow we got overnight into yesterday morning put it over the 50.7″ mark to the new official mark of 53.7″.  You read it right, that’s a full .02″ taller than me.  46.7″ more than normal for the month.  That’s what we normally get for the full season.

Anyhow, I guess that means I am short after all!

By the way, so is Copper, that is why he has such a small space to do his job in.

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So there! What’s it to ya?  Who cares if we’re short?  It’s really no big deal.

Yikes.  Chill b*tch.

It’s tough when ya gotta eat your words, eh?

OMG…?  Yeah…that’s what I’m talking about.  Short snarky replies popping up every time I’d open my mouth or think about opening my mouth.

No worries, mon, I found a way to solve my moody problem though.

In celebration of the completion of my self-imposed Fall In Love With Your Over 50-Self February Challenge, I grabbed a beer and the bag of Tostitos.

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Didn’t bother measuring the chip serving size.  I ate directly from the bag.  It was my dessert, I knew I’d eventually feel full.

It was the easiest way to calm my snarky mouth, plus, the crunching sound was heavenly.  And so was the salty taste.  It worked like magic too – no bloody taste in my mouth anymore!

Somehow, I stopped before the bag was gone.

I will fit into the bikini bottoms and short top tankini one way or another.  I’m not eating those words, nope, not going there!

By the way, for those interested in my efforts this month.  Did they pay off?  Yep!  I maintained the weight loss from the Dry January month.  I guilt-freely grazed my way through every day by eating any form of fruit or veggie in sight.  The post-it note reminders worked.  I did a bazillion squats, lunges, stomach crunches, etc.  Every muscle is sorta tight/firm under the age-appropriate skin sagging that previously fit the former weight I had been at for a lot of years.  I only ate one bag of Tostitos over the course of the month.

And I only cried a little last night regretting that I had returned the bikini.

Post Inspiration – Challenge – Fall In Love With Your Over 50-Self February #FILWYO50SF

PS – How about you, ever have a crabby day?  What is your favorite comfort food?  Do you ever write-delete-rewrite-delete-send emails?  

 

23 thoughts on “The day I ate my words

  1. ” I knew I’d eventually feel full.” – That’s a serving size. I’m drowning my crabby days with Crunch Cheetos these days. I have the scoops, but I decided to get the “cheese” (in quotes in honor of where you live) a different way.

    1. LOL! I paid attention and listened to your advice about the serving size. I like it, by the way, it fits well into my crabby day moods.
      Way to honor us cheeseheads – we know how to add calories to serving sizes in a big way ;-)!

  2. I DID have a crabby day. Must be something in the atmosphere. I have HAD IT with winter. DONE. OVER. Like making me think of relocating DONE. I’m sure this will pass, but for now I’m CRANKY. This morning the sun is out, so that is a bit better. But if I didn’t have a vacation planned in March, I’d be WORSE. And if it’s any comfort, I had wine and pizza for dinner. Today will be better. It has to be. 🙂

    1. Misery (aka, me) loves company, thank you for sharing your cranky thoughts! We’re almost to the single digit dance for our trip, and I swear its the only thing keeping me from really snapping! Pizza…and wine…does sound devine. I may have to do that too!? Yes, today will be better, thank you for cheering me on!!

    1. Thanks, John! You’re right! It’s the month-long crabbies that aren’t okay. It’s a really good thing I took extra Vitamin D!

  3. I feel like you’re missing a side hustle opportunity here. You could create a website called the Tostitos Diet wherein you’d tell your ‘secrets’ about your diet plan and then have a YouTube channel for your ‘secret’ exercise plan. Think of the possibilities in these socially mediated days in which common sense is in such short supply!

    1. Well…I’ll be…Ally you just made my day. I”m totally into breaking the rules about how into get to a beach body status over the age of 50! I’m off to buy more chips, for experiments, of course. BTW…what would you call the website? xx

  4. I’ve had some real beauts of crabby days, on at least one occasion getting me sent home. I’m glad I’m retired.

    Depending on the extent of comfort I need, mac & cheese, cake/pie, candy, and chocolate are all good comfort foods for me.

    And yes, I’ve been through the cycle of write-delete-write-delete-write-delete-write-send and wished I hadn’t a time or two.

    1. I’m in great company with you then! I send myself home when I’m really crabby! (But I work from home, so there’s that to consider!)! Great comfort food choices too!

  5. Laughed at this line: “Didn’t bother measuring the chip serving size. I ate directly from the bag. It was my dessert, I knew I’d eventually feel full.”
    I’ve been there and when I am stressed/grumpy, being a texture eater and leaning toward “crrrrrrunch” is the best way to combat it. Though I love my Pepperidge Farm Whole Grain Goldfish, they lack that satisfying crunch that a Tostito does … you should write Frito-Lay and say “I’m dealing with a helluva lot of snow here in Wisconsin … forget mac-n-cheese, or bread pudding, or all the ooey-gooey things that people eat in the Winter time. Your Bite Size Tostitos are my comfort food!” Do it!

    1. LOL – I’ve often wondered about buying stock in Tostitos – You’re so funny! Love your suggestion! Now that you got me thinking…maybe I should reach out to the company and offer to be in their Super Bowl commercial?! LOL

      1. Just for kicks do it – say that some people need a massage to relax, others have a glass of wine to unwind, but you, … despite skipping the commute, have a stressful job and the only thing that combats stress is Tostitos. Say “I pop ’em in my mouth like some pop M&Ms” … I once took a package of M&Ms to the Park and fed them to Parker. I took photos and sent the post to the Facebook site for M&Ms – they got a kick out of it. The world needs more laughs – spread the joy of Tostitos.

        1. You’re so sweet to encourage me and Parker and all of us addicts to what we love to eat! That’s awesome you sent that photo off to M&M’s Facebook page. Yes, the world needs more laughs and joy and Tostitos! I finished off a bag last night…………..

          1. I now have a craving for Tostitos after seeing your bag – maybe I should indulge a little too. I am going grocery shopping tomorrow morning … I must indulge in something nice. I ate all the cookies – they are not a good option. Very good, but even though they were thin and crispy – still fat and calorie laden. Yes, I thought they’d get a kick out of it – I think the corporate folks need to see what the public likes. Even if they walk on four legs, er … paws.

          2. I tell ya, Tostitos have the magic touch! 😉 Don’t blame me though if you like them too much, it’s them, not me that causes the issues!

          3. I thought about getting some for Fat Tuesday as a treat – may have to wait now – a little more snow over night. I have no treats in the house for Fat Tuesday!

  6. This winter has gotten the best of all of us. The last storm for us was ice on top of the 6 inches already on the ground. On February 14, the wonderful day of love, the temps went crazy at upper 40s and melted the 42″ on the ground in 1 day, talk about a mess – flooded a section of my basement- but then the temps dropped again and the remaining turned into ice. Now more snow came on it, then more ice, then…on and on. We are not looking to above freezing temps until mid March. So very ready.

    1. Yikes! It sure has been a wild winter. That melting day you wrote of is exactly what I’m hoping by-passes us and just slowly appears here over the weeks. I don’t envy your ice storms either. March 1st is bringing us more snow and very cold temps. No melting shall happen here this week!

  7. You’ve had a lot going on the past two month and snow, that crabby day was a stress relief for you, and you can always buy another bikini at Walmart, no worries there

    1. Yes, I have. Self-induced stress and drama ;-)! Thanks to your suggestion, I did find a bikini top (already bought the bottoms for the tankini) at Walmart yesterday…now just to decide if I should keep it or not? It was only $8. Score, right?! 🙂

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