Subtle Reflections of Normal In Our Stroke Recovery Journey

I sit here watching Mr. rest ‘comfortably’ in his reclining wheelchair just on the edge of my makeshift workstation at the kitchen table. I think to myself, on some normal day in the future, I’ll be in my office again, but for now, my makeshift desk/laptop workstation on a shipping box with a kitchen barstool as my chair works.

Then I grin to myself…it’s another successful morning in our/his stroke recovery book.

We can perform all transfers from bed to wheelchair, to kitchen table for coffee and breakfast together, from wheelchair to stairlift, stairlift to commode/shower chair, and commode/shower chair back to stairlift and back down to wheelchair to the kitchen safely. We’ve even accomplished performing a low pivot transfer from hospital bed to wheelchair to start the day. Every day!

Ahh…a little bit of normal.

It has been a whirlwind month. It’s hard to remember everything that has happened. A few highlights stand out. He’s getting stronger every day!

On April 17th, Mr. announced that it would be nice to wear normal undergarments instead of incontinence briefs. (Insert thinking to myself emoji 🤔) “Okay…I have a lot of packages of briefs left, and some people with strokes still wear them, but let’s do you and see how it goes.”

Me out loud to him: “Okay, let’s try and see how it goes!” That change (literally) has gone mostly well. He enjoys the feel of ‘normal’.

Two days later, challenging my ability to go with the flow of the stroke recovery journey, with his try it and see what happens gusto, Mr. said, “I think it’s a good day to reach our goal of eating breakfast at the table making it all 3 meals at the table every day! I’m sick of eating breakfast in this hospital bed.” That milestone has gone very well, and it has been wonderful for us to enjoy a cup of coffee and eat breakfast together, too.

A couple of days later, after we got the breakfast groove down to a new normal, I saw Mr. wheeling his wheelchair around the island in the kitchen. Nurse Shelley said, “Where are you going, and can I help you?” Cringing a bit when I saw the wheelchair hit the cupboards while telling myself, “It’s okay, 34-year-old cupboards deserve a few more knicks.” Mr. smiles back at me and says, “I’m going to make my cup of coffee.”

I set out the cup and the Keurig pod, and it was like he hadn’t been away from the machine for 10 months. It felt so normal to make his cup of coffee. Within the past few weeks, he’s learned how to carry that cup of coffee back to the table by slowly going in reverse and setting the cup on the counter as he moves. I have been seriously impressed with his ingenuity.

Me, snapping a video of him in action so I could send it to our kids, cheered, “Okay, YIPPEE, making a cup of coffee on your own is a big accomplishment!” Sigh…my heart skipped a beat as I watched my stroke recovery baby rocking independence…a sight I couldn’t help watch while tears welled up in my eyes.

Another sense of normal.

On a side note, Outpatient PT has been slow this month due to cancellations, one due to the therapist being out, and our car troubles that prevented us from getting there. No worries, he’s been practicing all the exercises. His standing for all the transfers is getting stronger every time. For my back’s protection, we have two turners, so I’m not carrying one up and down the stairs.

We have a Cubii so he can pedal to exercise his legs.

He also does mirror therapy (super taxing on the brain), but it seems to help, too.

He lifts weights and uses stretch tubes for balance exercises, etc. He’s been able to move both his arm and leg on command. We can’t wait to show the therapist this week that progress is still happening.

Now back to the post (it’s normal for me to be random in my thought sharing!).

The next huge moment was using the stairlift to transfer upstairs to use the shower/commode chair over the toilet instead of a makeshift ‘bathroom’ next to the hospital bed. That was a HUGE accomplishment that a couple of days later led to a shower while we were in the bathroom already! If you remember back to when we had our unfortunate transition to the floor experience when I was trying to give him a shower by myself on our old system that we vowed never to use again…anyhoo, we have been extremely cautious as that nightmare scared us, but not forever.

The current shower/commode equipment setup works well. We had done many showers, but always with the help of one of our daughters, not alone. As their availability was getting longer in between visits, I was feeling guilty about getting him in the shower instead of bed baths. We’d gotten rid of the dreaded bedpan for toileting, the bedbath was next! I knew all the steps, wasn’t sure if I could do it alone, but I knew that our daughter would be there shortly after we started the process, so I felt confident to go for it. And WE did it and were back downstairs to the kitchen by the time she arrived! Another HUGE game-changing moment for us and independence…

Another normal moment.

On Mother’s Day, following a trip outside, I was pushing Mr.’s wheelchair up the ramp to go back in the house, he was pulling up the ramp with his hand on the right railing, and his wheelchair’s back gave out on the left. Somehow, I was resourceful enough to get him into the house and transfer him to the hospital bed. He sat up, watching me, aka, Miss Unmechanical, try to figure out what to use to ‘repair’ his wheelchair that he needs to get around the house.

Mr., very calmly, told me exactly where to go in his office, what the box looked like, and what tools to use to fix it. What was also amazing in that situation was that he sat side-by-side all by himself, no one holding him except his balance!

A return to normal keeps sneaking up on us!

Stroke recovery comes in fascinating waves. Mr. has always been my hero when it comes to computer problems. This past week, my network printing functionality was struck with issues, and they brought me to tears as I couldn’t figure out what to do to fix ’em.

Mr. watched and listened to my frustrations and my tears of missing him being able to fix it. With words of wisdom and a calmness that I needed by my side, he said, “Bring the printer down here to the table and I’ll see what I can do to help you figure it out.” So, I did. I carried it down and set it and the mouse in front of him. I could tell that his visual cut and his lack of left hand were making the situation not feel ‘normal’ yet, but at the same time, his brain/memories kicked in. Mr. stared at it, knowing his limitations, and told me what website to go to. What buttons to push/click. What to try when that step didn’t work. I could tell this normal stress of being a computer wizard was taxing on his brain, but I could tell it was important for him to come to my rescue, so we persevered. 45 minutes later, it was fixed. I could print again! I could print from my other work computer, and from my personal computer too, which I normally use to write to you! He’s brilliant and still got it when it comes to fixing our network issues!

A sense of NORMAL strikes again…and we both were ecstatic!

And now…another transfer is calling me!

PS…one of these normal days, there will be a post that kicks me back into having time to reply and read your posts too. Thank you so kindly for all your well wishes, prayers, and emails – I (we) adore your support more than words can say!