Every year since my mom died, setting up the Christmas tree and tearing it down brings on the blues for me. Normally, I get all sappy and weepy and moody.
This year was different, though, and I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been so damn happy.
Was it because it has been six years, and that’s plenty of time to feel less sadness. I should, after all, be over missing her so much?
Was it because of the empty nest? Nah, this wasn’t the first year the kids weren’t here for decorating.
As we put away decorations yesterday, it hit me why this year is different.
It wasn’t really about missing mom at all, or the kids, it was more about me. Not the narcissistic sappy me…well, sort of, okay, maybe more than I want to admit.
It was about my baggage I left behind. Not that I forgot it, but nothing made me wanna bring it out.
It felt oddly strange and welcoming with the inception of having a real tree this year. Instead of the artificial tree that we’ve had for 29 years. And we bought new shatter-proof ornaments.
That meant, almost everything about the Christmas tree was new and exciting and different. I didn’t pull out our normal decorations for the tree, so I wasn’t flooded with memories of the years gone by.
I smiled every time I looked at our tree this year.
Even remembering the real trees we had when I was growing up, didn’t get me blue. Our tree had a strange shape. It was a wild budget tree. That reminded me of the year we had a Charlie Brown-like tree because of some reason I’ll never know for sure why? We had waited until December 24th to get a tree. There weren’t many trees to choose from at Brian’s Tree Sales. My dad and I got there right before he was closing and bought the second to the last tree left. The needles were hanging on for dear life.
I think the lateness had to do with the same reason mom was wrapping presents that night until well into the wee hours of the next morning. So, you know, we, the kids, would have presents under the tree from Santa Claus. I speculate now that maybe it was payday and they could finally buy a gift or two for my brother and me? While it was sad in a way, I still think fondly of that Christmas. How my parents came through for us, despite the challenges they had financially. Having very little money does funny things to us, doesn’t it?
This year was a financial challenge for us, too, with unplanned for hospital bills, and higher than normal property taxes. But we still found ways to have gifts under the tree. And even that didn’t make me blue.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, our real tree this year.
The only things that were the same as every other year were the angel on top and the skirt at the bottom. The sandwiched items bring back great memories for me every year.
The angel we picked out together the year we got married. It was our first real compromise when it came to decorating for holidays. I grew up with a handmade cardboard star glued to a toilet paper roll all covered with aluminum foil and Mr.’s family always had an angel. So, we compromised with a store-bought lighted angel with silver ribbon.
I love it, it wouldn’t be our Christmas tree without it.
The tree skirt I made. I was super excited to use my own sewing machine to craft our own tree skirt the year we got the artificial tree.
It has held up well over the years. It did a damn good job of keeping the cats out of the tree stand. And it protected the removal bag, too.
Even tearing down the tree was fun. Dessy got the balls rolling and the light strings falling for us in the morning. And Tizzie watched the whole thing unravel.
Me: Wait…you started without me. Wow, you’re fast. You have the ornaments off and the tinsel, just the lights left, eh?
Mr: Yep, there wasn’t much on the tree, it went fast.
Me: Wait…slow down, I wanna take pictures.
Mr: Of course, dear.
Mr: Man, these damn needles are sharp at the top, hand me the masking tape so I can seal up the bag.
Me: Okay. Wait…pose again. I want proof that the bag worked if we ever want to do this real tree thing again.
Mr: Of course, dear.
Me: Do you need me to help you carry it out?
Mr: No, it’s light, I’ve got it.
Mr.’s my hero.
With super strength, he hoisted and hauled the real tree to our outside bonfire circle in one speedy out the door without pause applause move, all while I happily clicked photos for the scrapbook (aka, my blog…there’s the narcissist again…!).
Him, in his running shorts, out in the cold, and me, inside in the warm cozy house, taking photos of the sturdy tree stand. And the proof of minimal needle damage.
Then I noticed something in the water’s reflection.
Not just the needles…which, by the way, I’m impressed with the lack thereof – there wasn’t that big of a pile left behind. Damn, we do good bagging work.
But…something was missing.
A support bolt.
Oops, it must’ve stuck to the tree sap when we unscrewed the trunk. I checked in the water, and nope, not there.
Sh*t…well that’s not good…it can’t be a good thing…I started to panic. It seemed as though it is an important part of the apparatus.
So – I bolted out the door and yelled out to Mr. as he was about to toss the tree on the pile.
Me: “One of the little bolts is missing!”
Mr: “Oh…GRRRReat, thanks, I’ll get it.”
It wasn’t the look of ‘you’re my hero dear’ I was expecting. I’m sure he was second-guessing his choice in baggage removal attire, but that’s beside the point.
Thankfully, I had saved the day. Mr. hadn’t unbagged the tree yet, and the bolt was still stuck to the trunk. He had to take the tree out of the bag anyhow, I’m assuming so.
Anyhoo, I was a bolt hero!
There you have it, the last of our (maybe…we’ll see, there’s the silicone cup story brewing) sappy Christmas stories that dripped out for us this year.
Once again, the empty nest is back to ‘normal’, and I’m sappy happy that the cats let us sleep in today!
Post Inspiration – Umm…the end of the holiday season… Word of the Day – Inception
PS – Thank you to all of you who suggested the removal bag. It was a success! Thank you to those of you who endured the tales of adventures with our cats and the real tree. Thank you for reading, I adore you, you’ve made 2018 a joy!
Taking down the tree can be quite the production. Nice way to simplify!
Thank you, it was less painful than I had imagined it would be! Happy New Year to you!
I’m glad the big bag worked so well. 😎❤️👍🏻
Me, too! :-)!
Glad the bag worked so well! I will be taking ours down next week while my husband visits his mom in Oregon. We don’t burn it (sadly no fireplace in this house) and will have to take it out of the bag so the garbage company will remove it as they don’t allow the plastic on the trees. Very happy New Year to you, Shelley.
Yes, it worked like a charm! Wow, that sounds a tad challenging, and messy, but at least the mess will be outside for you. Very Happy New Year to you, too, Janet – I’m looking forward to what 2019 brings to you this year! Keep smiling!
I bought the same plastic balls as you have only ours are only in blue. Five plastic containers of blue! Last year I tossed aside traditions and bought a 7.5 ft white Xmas tree pre-lit with colorful lights. It looked fab with just the blue balls and a blue star as the topping. I just loved it.
When we sold our condo I was going to leave them the tree BUT hubby thought otherwise. He brought our Florida tree back to NY. When I put it up this year it only had happy memories attached to it.
Lovely.
It was super easy to take down and pack away for next year.
I usually don’t like Christmas, but this year was different. I liked it.
Thanks for sharing your story. It inspired me to sit back and think about mine.
Happy New Year!
Yes, I remember seeing your photo of your tree. It was stunning with the white and blue. Thank you for sharing your feedback, I’m glad you enjoyed it and that it sparked reflection for you too. Happy New Year to you! 🙂
I think everybody needs to redo traditions at Christmas. While the old ones are good, sometime you need new to enjoy. Glad it was a good Christmas this year for you. Its hard when the nest is empty. My trees are still up. I will get them down this week …sometime. That is sad to me. LOL.
Yes, I agree. It was a good Christmas, but like you, I’m always a tad sad when the decorations are put away and life is back to ‘normal’. Your decorations have been up for longer than mine, and since you enjoy them so much, I can only imagine how emotional it would be to take them down. They’ve become like familiar friends in your house. Happy New Year to you, I wish you continued healing and much joy!
Thank you for your wonderful friendship this past year. May we giggle more with each other next year.
Yes, same to you! Love the giggles and the kindness you share!
Good thing you had an eagle eye and noticed it – even up close when you pointed it out, I still didn’t see it! Glad the removal bag worked for you. That makes sense, it is a whole new effort and thus no sad memories. At least you still have your Thanksgiving memories from your mom Shelley, the pilgrims on the table.
I’m glad I noticed too. I’m sure if it had been missed, Mr. would’ve been able to find a replacement – but then that wouldn’t have been as fun of a story to tell. Yes, I have lots of happy memories, and trinkets to remind me of Mom that I’ll continue to treasure.
You were sharp – it was that extra sleep you got unless that was the day the cats woke you up early and you were fueled by caffeine?
LOL – I think it was a combination of things :-)!
We have a plastic tree too that might need to get tossed!! I thought I would never say that, because my husband and I were so proud to buy the floor model tree for $20 at Sears a decade ago. The lights are all messed up. Our kids don’t mind, but I think getting a real tree will be a great experience for all of us. We have no idea how to haul it home or what.
I enjoyed the story about you and your dad getting the 2nd to last Christmas tree and your mom wrapping the presents way into the night. Christmas can bring out so many good, sad, and bad memories (I’m reminiscing about mine here). I’m so glad to be a grown up now to make my own.
Happy new year and wishing you a healthy and bright 2019!! Thank you for your blogging friendship!! Feel very grateful.
It was a fun adventure with the real tree. And it wasn’t too bad taking it down either, so if we can find another fun budget tree next year, I think we’d do it all again. Kids just love the excitement of the season – no matter what kind of tree, but I have a hunch you’re on to something – your two would love the real deal adventure. Thanks for the feedback about my childhood stories. You’re right it is fun to think back, and it is also fun to make our own memories as we grow up. Happy New Year to you, too – thank you for your blogging friendship – I truly treasure you! xx
I think the transition make take more than a year. My husband may balk at the idea of a real tree…what will we do with out current tree, how much is a real tree, what’s the upkeep, etc. He’s a very practical guy! Many memories are tied to Christmas trees, bringing on nostalgia, whether they are mixed. I sure have mine and they are crazy…my dad would go all out with the outdoor decorations that the news crew would come. ugh…but my mom threatened him with divorce because it cost so much financially and emotionally. Christmas was a wacky time growing up like that.
I hope you find a great budget tree next year!! The one you picked this year was great.
Have a happy new year’s eve and wishing you many blessing in 2019!! Ditto the lovely sentiments!!
LOL – I asked and so did my hubby how much the real tree adventure would cost. We decided the budget tree of $25 was worth the experiment. You have to ask for the budget trees, they try to sell you the more expensive ones. Yikes, that sounds like quite the deal for you growing up. Hopefully, you’ll find the right balance for your family. Happy New Year’s eve and same to you – I wish you many blessings for the New Year – we’ll stay in touch, I’m sure of it! xx
How funny…some guys are very practical like that. I think it provides a nice balance. Thanks for letting me know about the budget trees…I had no idea about that. It will be fun to let the kids choose…if we throw out our plastic tree. lol
Have a great start to a new year!! Looking forward to reading more of your adventures and photography!!
Yes, but we love that about them too, right? I hope the place you have has budget tree options – they elves that help sell them get a kick out of people wanting not so perfect looking trees for $25! Happy New Year to you – glad Ellis is feeling better! I look forward to checking out your adventures and photos too! I love your new blog theme – NICE!! xx
Don’t forget, you’ve been blogging almost every day, too…