Adventures · Emptying the nest

How to remain thankful for bills that arrive in the mail

Now that the election time of year is over, the corresponding junk mail has subsided and been replaced with envelopes that demand my immediate attention.

Some envelopes contain contents I count on to remind me of how grateful I am they arrive to bless our lives.

I don’t mind receiving junk and election mail.  They are a nuisance, but I love how easy it is to toss them.  It’s actually kind of fun.  They don’t have time to collect on the counter because they’re recycled as fast as they arrive.

Yay – Me – it’s a blast to process mail that flies off the counter as fast as it arrives.

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But, it’s not so easy to process, let alone toss, envelopes that contain property taxes and insurance premiums.  Unless I want to be called by a collection agency.  Those kinds of bills stand out front and center in the pile.

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Thankfully, I have the gift of responsibility in my skill set.  I diligently open each envelope and plan the timing of when to send in the payments (mostly on time).  And I make sure the account balances don’t dip down too far so we stay afloat.

On a normal month, it’s no big deal to open mail and pay bills.  Especially with an empty nest, our bills remain fairly predictable and regular.  Like clockwork, I can do my routine bill-paying job each month.

This month, though, things arrived in the mail that changed my gusto for bill paying.

As the cool air in the November skies rolled around, I got chills up my spine from the air and some of the envelopes in the mail – both caused me to ache a bit.  The bigger bills grabbed my attention.  Every bone in my body wanted to push them aside and run to hide under the covers.  No matter what I did though, they didn’t disappear.

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I couldn’t help but notice them, no matter how many different storage spots I moved them to.

I’ve waited as long as possible to part with the cash.  It’s just so hard to watch it disappear from our account.  Each entity who claims what is due to them will cash the payments I send their way as quickly as possible.

It is a mind game for me to garner up enough guts to grab the mail and open it.  I fight to remember to lead with gratitude, instead of disdain, as I open each envelope.

I generally get over my bad mood when I refocus on how property taxes mean we are fortunate to have a home.  Utility bills mean we have power, heat, and cable.  Insurance bills mean we’re protected from something far off, distant, and not really needed unless something big happens.

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Ah, yes, this year, something big did happen.  The envelopes that arrived this week aren’t like ones we’ve ever seen before in our house.  A 3-day hospital bill is far from cheap and budget friendly.  “Holy sh*t!”, were some of the nicer words that broke free from my mouth when I opened the envelopes.

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We’ve been so healthy that we didn’t notice how our health insurance coverage had drastically changed over the years.  Preventative coverage isn’t bad to have if you only need preventative procedures and tests.  Even 2 years ago a blasted colonoscopy was covered at 100%.  I think it still is preventative.  I’m not really excited about having to revisit that kind of fun anytime soon so I can wait to find out.  I tell ya…some procedures we put our bodies through that are covered by insurance are darn incredible.

Back when I had babies, their births and my hospitalizations (3 years apart) were covered 100% by our insurance.  Both kids were tiny free gifts from heaven 26 years ago.  I miss having that kind of insurance coverage.

I’m positive I’m not alone in feeling the loss and freedom to seek needed medical care without the worry of the associated costs.  Every person who has any form of insurance nowadays feels the cinch pulling as it tightens their insurance coverage belts.  It’s a perspective changer for sure.

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No matter how much I’d love to toss the envelopes from the hospital, I won’t – I know I can’t.

I’ve refocused my thoughts to find gratitude within the meaning of what the envelopes represent.

I’m actually thankful for every one of those bills.  Each envelope is a reminder that someone very special to me is still here, alive and ready to commiserate along with me in new kinda bill-paying events.

I love that someone special – he is strong and stands out as a fighter despite the unexpected storms we encountered together this fall.

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Each and every bill means Mr. is alive.  We have a future to continue living and exploring – and we’ll have many more years of sunsets together to watch while we enjoy holding hands.  So yeah, I’m thankful for those envelopes, (and him) yes I am.

Post Inspiration – Sunday Stills – Thankful

PS – Happy Thanksgiving week to all!  

55 thoughts on “How to remain thankful for bills that arrive in the mail

  1. Medical bills suck and we were spoiled when my husband was working because he was a union employee and the benefits were great. Now it is Medicare and Kaiser and while the copays are higher, the coverage is lower. I have to get by the next year and a half hoping nothing happens to me until I can get my Medicare also.

    1. Yes, they do. We’ve never had union insurance in our nest, but my mom did and I was darn thankful she had a retirement package from where she worked, her dementia in her last 5 years of life caused a few too many trips to the hospital. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you for healthy years ahead!

  2. I totally feel your pain. As I look at he costs of this surgery vs what insurance will pay and what I still have to pay. Its ridiculous. 50.00 for a plastic cup with a plastic straw…oh I get to take it home, really…I can get it at Walmart for 7…oh it has your logo…how special.
    But I am glad they are there for when we really need them so that family can still be with us. Many hopes you and Mr have a great thanksgiving this year.

    1. Yikes…I better check our bill to see if there’s a cup on it, oh and a pair of treaded socks…! Yikes! Yes, I’m glad they were there, too. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, hope your family spoils you as you rest and continue healing!

  3. Can certainly relate to this post. I’m just thankful that now the kids have left, we do have the ability to pay even the unforseen bills without too much stress.

  4. I’ve also noticed that nearly all my mail is junk anymore. As for the doctor/hospital bills, we take the approach “just pay it and move on.” Medicare has been good for me, and Mary’s insurance is reasonable.

  5. This was powerful and beautiful pictures … brought back memories of my mom because she refused to go to the hospital though she had extreme pain in her side. I abided by her wishes because she was adamant she was fine. I even called the ambulance company and she heard me on the phone; I got a dressing down and to mind my business. I cancelled. Two days later she was not lucid and I HAD to call an ambulance – this time she did not know I called. She was not sure who I was. She had sepsis and only lasted 12 hours. The pain in her side was a perforated bowel. I think it is the high-potency Motrins she lived on for her many orthopedic pains. I asked her to take them with food – I bought little pudding cups or rice pudding cups for when I took her pills, especially in the middle of the night … “no, I’m fine” … those pills likely tore a hole in her colon. I will always wonder as well. The surgeon said he could save my mom with a cocktail of very strong antibiotics, however, she would only last a few days longer … prolong her life a few days for what? She would likely not regain consciousness so I said “no, please do not, there is a DNR order on file, and Mom does not want her life prolonged, either would I.” And so it was. Good thing you took your husband to the E.R. – heart disease runs in my family, my mom had an arrhythmia and my grandmother and her 8 siblings all had heart disease … that history keeps me from eating red meat to be on the safe side. 🙂

    1. Aw, Linda, I’m so sorry to read about your mom and the traumatic decisions you had to make on her behalf. I had to make those types of decisions for my mom as well so I can sympathize with the difficulties and the pain of those moments. Your mom would be proud of you for taking away life-changing lessons for your own health. Hugs to you, thank you for sharing your thoughts xx

      1. Thanks Shelley – having no relatives was tough as I had no one to lean on – my neighbor Marge was there for me though … in fact she followed behind the ambulance where I sat in the front seat with my mom in back, and she met me in the E.R., not only for moral support, but also because she was the second in line for my mom/my Medical Power of Attorney. My boss has always been the first and we did that as he was once a POA for a client of ours who was divorced and the kids hated him and wanted to take his successful company and just sell it. They wanted nothing to do with running the company after he died. So my boss was the Medical POA to keep Jack Beauchamp ON life support. My mom and had DNR orders in place – my neighbor/friend Marge was afraid I would not be able to say “let her go” … I was okay with it … my mom had started to talk about nothing else but not wanting to live anymore and asked me to light candles for her just three days before she died so she may RIP. It was an emotional time for me. I know you would understand based on what you said in your post … I honored my mom’s wishes. We made our wishes known many years before and had to do that in case we perished together in an accident. I really need to have paperwork done for myself but Robb is still my medical advocate and I carry his info with me on my lanyard and in the car. Marge passed away suddenly from complications from COPD last August – a harsh blow to me as she was hospitalized and due to be released Sunday … she had become weaker and passed away early Monday morning … that woman loved her sunrises and when she was not tethered to her oxygen tank 100% of the time, she went down to the River to watch the sun rise every morning. She often sent me pics of the sunrise so I used her picture in my tribute blog post. I felt I owed her that – she was important to both my mom and me, and if not for Marge, I would never have started the blog … she pushed me to do it. Thank you for the hugs. They are appreciated. https://lindaschaubblog.net/2017/08/14/last-sunrise/

        1. Aw, Linda, your words of pain and loss touch my heart. I don’t have adequate words to share and wish I had something comforting to say. The lessons that you learned during those challenges have helped you blossom into the writer you wanted to be years ago when you graduated. Some journeys take longer than we planned, and for some, the journey is shorter than we anticipated – they are gone before we’re ready to say goodbye. Keep writing, keep being whimsical, keep walking, and keep smiling – your kind heart and eloquent words to describe what you see in this crazy world will continue to help you find comfort in each day. Hugs to you, thank you for sharing with me, I appreciate hearing your thoughts.

          1. Thank you Shelly for your kind words – sometimes … oftentimes … I feel the world moves too fast for me and I’ve often said I wished I lived in an earlier and simpler era. I love the technology (after all I’d be working at an on-site job pounding away on a typewriter instead of working from home and the concept of a blog would not have even been invented yet) but I want to tell the world and its people to slow down the pace just a bit. Thanks for listening to my thoughts -I do appreciate it very much.

          2. You’ll get no argument from me re the pace, or the benefits of the technology. There must be a balance point somewhere in between! Thank you, too, for listening to me – I appreciate you!! xx

          3. And I appreciate you back – I often say I’d like to climb off the Earth sometimes just like you’d disembark at a subway station or when you reach your intended bus stop.

          4. I should do that but I have mentioned it several times in conjunction with having to learn new things like a phone, or a camera – I did a whole post on learning how to use a smartphone and then I had so many troubles with the phone dropping calls/texts, that I went back to my flip phone. I think I said I was ready to go back to simpler times … I feel like that a lot actually.

          5. You’re right Shelley – I hated giving up my 2G phone. It was old but never had problems with it and I had to get a new phone as AT&T no longer supported 2G. Decided to get a simple smartphone – big mistake. I resorted to the flip phone and no more problems since then.

          6. I find that I enjoy my Canon camera more than the one I have on my phone. I’m not sure which one the animals prefer to pose in front of, but from your squirrel pictures, I’d say they like your camera too.

          7. Thanks Shelly – they sure do like to pose for peanuts! I have always used a Canon camera and like their brand and never had issues with them. My 35 mm film camera was a Canon AE-1 and I took photography classes back then as I traveled a lot in the late 70s and early 80s. I have been using a Canon compact camera with 12X zoom and I bought it in 2015 as I wanted more zoom than 4X which was what I had … my earlier blog posts before 2015 have smaller and not as clear pictures. This Summer I decided to treat myself to a DSLR – I don’t use it that much though and yesterday’s post and the post I’ll write later today were taken with the DSLR – in my mind’s eye, I don’t see a bit of difference and I used only the long lens when shooting on Thanksgiving Day. I really have to study the manual as I only have used it on automatic this year.

          8. A fellow Canon lover! My DSLR is my youngest’s first camera. When she upgraded, I got it, read the manual and watched YouTube videos to figure out how to use it. I’ve been in love ever since. I kinda want a new one, but am not sure if I really need one or if I would enjoy trying to learn how to make it work. Happy shooting to you!

          9. Thanks Shelley and I am uploading 249 pics as I write this … I often take duplicate pictures in case they don’t come out … I really and truly find that my pics on the digital compact are as good as the Canon Rebel T6 DSLR, but I’ve got to hunker down and learn how to use it off automatic and may be more pleased with the results. I took all the pics for Friday and Saturday’s posts using the long lens … we had an almost “Fall-like” day today but very gray and tonight we get snow … some suburbs will get 6 inches of snow … us just 1 inch. I’d sing praises for Canon anytime someone asks … I’ve never had an issue with any Canon product or lenses, etc. (I did catch my finger in the latch closure for the camera case on Thanksgiving … I couldn’t get it open and got my finger mangled and had a huge bruise where it caught the skin. I have to open and close it more times to loosen it up I think. That is not Canon’s fault … strictly user error.) 🙂

          10. I was thinking about getting the Rebel T6 DSLR – there were great sales on it this past week. But, mine works fine, and I bought some shoes instead ;-)! Happy clicking to you – Ouch – that’s a bummer, glad you’re okay!

          11. I really was pleased with the digital compact and really … you cannot tell the difference when I take photos with the compact versus the DSLR (in my opinion anyway). I wanted a little more zoom and since I had used the SLR years ago when I travelled, I decided to indulge … I researched for the easiest DSLR without a lot of bells and whistles and preferably Canon. Rebel T6 DSLR got rave reviews for all this criteria and Best Buy had a “kit” on sale for Father’s Day, so I was standing at their door when the store opened the first day of the sale. The kit included a a long lens, regular lens/body and camera bag with the funky latch. I bought a sling bag to carry the camera in – ordered from Amazon, but it didn’t feel secure to me as the zipper kept inching down a little, so I will invest in another bag before next Summer when I’ll use it in earnest. I bought a Dummies book for this camera as well, but I was like you and watched the videos to learn the parts of the camera and some tricks. I hate reading the book and get much more out of something like e-how or YouTube. Sometimes I’m sorry I got it as I hoped to get more use out of it – but we had that wicked heat/humidity for about 5-6 weeks and I hated lugging around the big case, when I can rely on the digital compact that I just whip out of my fanny pack. And didn’t want to take it in the rain – perhaps I baby it too much.

          12. Yes, that’s the camera set I thought about getting. I do think it is a good one to use. When I was trying to figure out my camera (still need to figure out more, there’s always something I don’t get about it!) I watched this guy’s videos. It was a great help – https://froknowsphoto.com/. I definitely felt more confident in what I was doing after watching.

          13. Thanks Shelley – I went on this website and I think I remember this guy doing a tutorial on YouTube (or maybe I just Googled and found it) for the Rebel. I would like to sign up for his free mini course (11 videos that you get a new one every day). I will wait until next month – my boss is on vacation for a week and it is Christmas so I’ll have a little more time. I spent the better part of a day going over the manual and the basics from the Dummies book when I first got the camera, but I have to use it more to feel comfortable with it before I tackle the manual setting. They make it too easy to just stay on automatic, though I have strayed to action for birds in flight and the flower setting for close-ups. That’s as adventurous as I’ve gotten. .

          14. You’re welcome! I love shooting in manual mode for most settings. Once I learned how to do that I have rarely gone back to any other setting on my camera. I look forward to seeing your photos as you figure out the settings.

          15. I’m going to give myself over the Winter to do that Shelley, especially with the videos from the link you sent to me. I feel my photos with the DSLR seem flat to me – if I learned the manual settings I could bring more depth to my photos. For the daily photos taken “on the fly” I’m fine with the pictures. On the weekends is when I try to get more into photography and take my time. I follow a wildlife photographer from Tofino, British Columbia. He’s given me some pointers and keeps saying “learn your manual as it is your Bible – memorize it, know it by heart” … he has encouraged me to learn how to shoot videos to enhance my blog, so I’d like to learn how to do that as well. I have all Winter … surely my brain can accommodate a little more knowledge!

          16. I like visual learning – I took a look at the video portion for the recording after deciding it would be nice to record the squirrels gathering around my feet and make a funny post, then it was several pages long and involved reformatting the memory card so I said “over the Winter” … I wish you could know how many things I say “this will be done over the Winter” … I have to tweak my blog and add some more pictures to the gallery. I did some enhancements in early Spring and didn’t get back to it. I enlarged the typeface and entire size of the posts but it has to be tweaked again as now they are too big. But WordPress adjusted the font size – they said they did not, but suddenly the font was very pale and I didn’t change it and I didn’t want to mess with another theme, so I looked through my options and enlarged the typeface/pics.

          17. I’m impressed you could figure out the font size change setting. I’ve yet to figure that out in my theme! I want to…maybe I’ll add it to my BuJo planner for something to do over the winter. 😉

          18. I am already getting my panties in a bundle about the new Gutenberg editor and figure I’ll go to post a mess of pictures and some long tale and it will have arrived. Maybe over the holidays I’ll look at the video and get myself ready for it. The last time they launched a new form of the editor I didn’t like it at all, but you could still rely on the old editor and I think you still can now. I don’t draft my narrative in WordPress, I use Word and copy and paste it over. My font size is much bigger but the pictures are way too large the way I did it … if you look at my actual site you’ll see what I mean. I have to tweak it a bit – I worry I’ll do something and can’t fix it then. So, do I push the tweaking and enhancing the blog and adding pictures to my gallery past the learning to use the camera manually – always something to learn!

          19. You’re way more on top of pending WP changes than I am! I’ve had my site crash a couple of times, so I’m not looking forward to another change. I do use both the .org and .com WP editors, I like the .com one better. Um…maybe you want to start bullet journaling to keep track of your long list…? 🙂 Just kidding, but it does sound like you’ll never be bored and that you’ve got lots of fun in store for the winter months.

          20. I do just the .com for $99.00 a year and this year I decided to get the name of the blog as a .com as well. I think the .com is easier as I know someone who just went from .com to .org and it is a little different. When you draft a new post you get that “a new editor is coming soon” or “try it out” … I hope they wait til after the holidays and I’ll try it out myself. There was a video tutorial and some tutorials on YouTube … started watching it and said “I’ll be like Scarlet O’Hara and deal with it tomorrow” … oh ya, I said “Fiddle-de-dee” too. Do they help you if the site crashes – I hope so. I’ve never backed anything up and I have to learn how to do that although I keep a copy of all photos and narratives used for each post and archive them off my computer onto a flash drive quarterly. If the Winter months are anything like November, I’ll be spending a lot of time indoors. 🙂

          21. I’ll be watching to see what happens. I don’t get that message you say, so I’m not sure why? My site is hosted through Bluehost, so maybe that makes a difference? I do hope WP has help available, I’m sure it will be needed. It does sound time-consuming though – hopefully, it is pleasurable time inside.

          22. Maybe that is why – the message comes whenever you start a new post at the bottom of the screen and along the side. I mentioned this to another blogger and she did not see it either, but I know she just uses WordPress as her niece is one of the Happiness Engineers and got her started in blogging by giving her a subscription, which she has had for about 4 years as I recall. She looked at the video and said “maybe another time” … I hope it is easy as well. There are several tutorials on YouTube, each running around 20 minutes or so. This little primer gives you an idea how the interface looks – it seems similar but has enhancements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nybAQ7n2kxA

          23. Hmm…I’ll have to check it out – I’m adding the task to my BuJo list. I do wish to be prepared for a change, I hate it when WP surprises me! I’d love to have my own Happiness Engineer in the family – lucky blogger friend you have!

          24. Yes, I’d like to do it before it is sprung on me. I don’t like surprises either, especially if I have a story to tell and pictures to share and it is a whole different platform. I am already dreading when Windows 7 will no longer by supported by Microsoft (January 2020) because I like Win 7 and we use it at work. I have a backup laptop plus my 9-year old laptop which is relegated to my room because it is missing a few keys but otherwise in good shape – I should get a drop-in keyboard, but it also has no battery but I never untether my laptops so that’s fine too. Anyway, they are all Win 7 models and I did try out the Win 10 when they forced it on me and I rolled it back to Win 7 within a few hours. I didn’t like all the bells and whistles.

          25. I was there with you on the Windows 7 to 10. Now that I have 10 and have figured out the fun photo editing – I like it. It helped me with the lichen elf photos! 😉

          26. Oh, now that might entice me to not dread it so much then Shelley. I have used Fotor.com in the past if I wanted to put text on a photo or do something like I did with the “Night Before Christmas” last year using stickers. But Fotor has gone to a fee for most of the formerly free effects – they want $40.00/year for the premium content and so I found another free photo editing site for fun effects. The Epson scanning software came with a few editing options but not graphics like you have with Windows 10.

          27. I think you’ll like Windows 10 (and if I was getting any perks from them for the recommendation, I would have a more popular blog LOL! ;-))

          28. That’s good to know as I was dreading it like this Gutenberg editor. You put my mind at ease and this time next year I’ll need to download Windows 10 one one of the laptops to be familiar with it before Microsoft quits supporting Windows 7.

          29. Thank you Shelley! We have great weekend weather and sun as well and this continues through Wednesday so I’m going to keep plugging along and get more miles walked – seize the day!!

      2. I thought I replied to this earlier today and I think there are some WordPress shenanigans going on – I believe this is where I sent my post about Marge … but, for some reason I don’t see the reply icon on here. I will reply again if it does not show up.

          1. No problem at all Shelley, but your site doesn’t show the comment approving moderation message, so I wasn’t sure if it went thru or not – I have had problems with a few sites that DON”T say approving moderation so I thought maybe that was the case … take your time. I am slow sometimes responding to comments and commenting … sometimes it is the end of the day if I don’t get a break at work.

          2. Thank you, same with me – sometimes it is the next day before I get time to check for comments. I appreciate your understanding!

  6. Your ability to refocus your perspective is inspiring. I’m glad health concerns are sorted. Similar situation here, health costs increasing and cover decreasing yearly…who knows where it will all end!

    1. Thank you, Marie – the alternative of being frustrated and angry isn’t appealing to me…but there is a bit of fight, I may just challenge a few of the ridiculous charges. Healthcare costs are crazy! Hope all is well with you and your family!

      1. True being stressed by it all affects your well-being and achieves nothing. I hope you succeed with your queries! We are doing well, thank you for asking. Xx

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