A Tostitos craving appeared and I blame it on the full moon.

It’s the pending full moon that made me do it.  I don’t think rationally when that is growing bigger and bigger in the sky.  Or maybe it was a cow?

Plus…I think the whole ordeal of trying to decide how to be authentic to my “I wanna be comfortable ol’ self on the beach’, was damn stressful this past week.

So, I figured, why not?

Why not experiment?  See what happens when I take a leap into the chip bag.

Go ahead, just pretend for a few days to see what happens?

It was my aim to please, if not just to tease, that Tostitos craving maniac I’ve been suppressing since January 1st.

A wild woman – I was the one who tried on a teenie weenie bikini that was going back to the ‘slow to deliver beachwear website’ called, Swimoutlet.com.

Why – what happened?

How did the story unfold?

I was like a teenager…all smitten in first’s love, on Valentine’s day the thoughts hit me up and I couldn’t resist after a couple of glasses of wine.  I stared across the room at the pantry door.  I knew it was in there.

That bag of chips still sealed, hoping to make it to the end of the month, all expired and glad to be tossed out with the garbage.

But no…I just couldn’t waste them, they like my waist too much.  I deserved a treat.

And the wine relaxed my resolve.

That’s when it happened, the craving to dissolve Tostitos in my mouth took over every refraining muscles I had squatted, squeezed, and twisted into shape over the week.  I dashed as fast as possible to the pantry, opened the door, reached in past the family photo and bikini blocking it, and I busted open the bag and took just one.

And sighed…

A serving and a half later were all it took.  That ol’ familiar salty taste hitting my lips as I put each one in my mouth, my teeth crunching as my mouth made heavenly sounds.  The yumm…yumm…yumm…the session made my mouth cry out loud, “Oh, my how I’ve missed you my dears!”

That was Thursday.

And Friday – brought me to the end of a week that seemed like forever to end.  It’s been a long time since a beer accompanied the chips.  Ah…I spotted a cow in the fridge.

I couldn’t resist (or chose not to, cows show up here in Wisconsin, they even kind of like the snow – they’re everywhere!).  This version is especially refreshing and goes so well together with chips.

I had more Tostitos.

Then Saturday arrived, and it wasn’t warm outside.  The snow didn’t melt.

We didn’t feel like cooking.

We’re just so sick of this damn weather…and the tropical vacation trip is weeks away.

We built our rationalizing case all day, until 2:00 pm.

That was it.

Mr. and I looked at each other in our we’ve gone all stir-crazy winter’s nest looks, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  Doesn’t a burger, fries, and a tall beer at the bar down the road sound good to you too?”

“YES!”

I ate every bite.  But, I did ask for no bun.  They think I’m weird, too, but they served it as I requested.

At least I was so damn stuffed I resisted consuming any more chips that night.

But I rolled out of bed on Sunday still hungry…WTH?

I cut up a bunch of veggies to distract myself from the now opened bag of Tostitos.  In the pantry, sitting on top of the bikini, next to the photo left there to remind me of the goal to fit into such tiny spaces.

Wait, I thought…”I’m returning the teenie thing…there’s space available in the one-piece, and tankini…”

But the new shorts, skort, and dress…will they still fit if you gain weight?

Grr…

Oh, crap.  I let out several you’re right sighs…as I chomped away at the veggies, and what about my thighs, they deserve to be protected too?

The Tostitos craving maniac woman won again.  I tell ya, she’s uncontrollable.

“There’s always Monday,” she (I) said with a wide-mouthed grin, stuffed full with chips, one right after the other in record speed.

Some sessions prove udderly unsatiable.  One serving just doesn’t seem like enough chips?

Mr.:  Said in astonishment as he watched me do my craft, “You’re like a bottomless pit, how can you keep eating them so fast?”

Me:  “It’s the weekend, I’ll get back on track on Monday.”

Over half a bag down before retiring to bed.  We’ll see if it really is buried safely in the pantry.  I put on two chip clips, too, just in case.

It’s on Monday at 6:00 am.  So far so good.

So…what will be different today or this week, how shall I refrain?  The official full moon isn’t until tomorrow.

Well, I’m feeling all appropriately salt-inflicted and well-over-the-top bloated.  And I have a nice big a** pimple on my chin, just like when I was a teenager girl who ate too much crappy food.

I’m feeling young at heart, though!  Like I could still leap over the moon.

Brave, even.

Enough so I even stepped on the scale to see if I could eat like a teenage boy and still bounce back to my pre-vacation weight?

In 4 days, I’ve gained a full pound and a half.

Oh, dear, that’s a load of crap…(some people believe that shedding of those efforts helps with rapid weight loss…but I digress – ewe…!)

It’s a dang good thing the trip isn’t for a few more weeks.

I’ll just call this past weekend a practice run at letting it all go.  It is a good reminder of what not to do.

Now I just need to see how the rest of the story unfolds…will I gain back every pound I lost?  Will travel clothes still fit, or will I need to resort to old clothes in the drawers that I haven’t sorted through and donated yet.

Oh, my, will I be able to get back to my new ‘normal going on a beach vacation weight’ within a week?

Tomorrow is garbage day, maybe I should throw out the bag of chips?

Post Inspiration – A moment or 4 days worth of weakness – Challenge – Fall In Love With Your Over 50-Self February #FILWYO50SF

PS – What do you crave when you’re going stir-crazy waiting for the full moon to arrive?  Do you have a favorite snack that you’ve tried to give up and it still comes back to haunt you?  Do share…just write about it, don’t worry, I won’t show up in your pantry or fridge like the cows do around here.