To Heck with a Word for The New Year, I Gave Myself A Title Instead

As I sit here, slamming sipping down the last few swallows of my cup of coffee, which by the way I’ve learned to ‘enjoy’ immensely in those few early moments each day before the real work for the day starts, I picture myself in my new self-proclaimed role as DoON.

Director of Obstacle Navigation

I love this AI definition:

At Christmas, our youngest asked me what skill I learned about myself over the past year that surprised me. I was dumbfounded as to what skill popped out the most. I’ve learned so much. This here Pioneer Woman can now make a fire in the fireplace on the first try! Our daughter thought perhaps agility fits better. Yeah, oh my, that fits too.

Then I thought more. If I had to encompass our everyday activities, it’s the DoON role encompassing everything I do from sun up to sun down. Including how to find time to write a simple blog post.

…Intermission Break…

Ah…dang, the cup of coffee was gone and the first must do for the day howling…so I had to excuse myself to pause writing to take care of a few things…

False alarm…Dessy comforted herself…for now. Meanwhile, Mr. woke up too. I paved my way through the ritual (including Spa Day) to get Mr. up, fed breakfast (yeah…I’m still cooking every meal!), and bathed for the day. The list of all the moving part steps requires too much space here. It’s monumental to note that I don’t freak out and panic when I have all those things to do before I even get myself ready for the day! 🤣

Where was I?

Let’s pause for a moment as I share with you a Major Milestones exactly 1 year from moving back home last year: Mr. officially moved back upstairs to our bed for sleeping instead of on the plastic mattress covering the very uncomfortable and loud hospital bed! The dining room feels funky now. But so great it’s not a bedroom!

He also shaved his own face (both sides equally as well…the left neglect couldn’t win over years of habitually shaving without looking in a mirror).

Back to my DoON role. Last year at this time, I was beyond naive about what I didn’t know he’d need me to do for him. I just knew we were going to do this thing called, “Stroke Recovery”. At HOME, not in a Nursing Home. I had graduated from an honorary Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) role from my daily observation and practice at the NH before Mr.’s discharge home. All my posts from 2025 cover references to that. What I didn’t tell you was how effing scared I was. I was, and often have been, TERRIFIED. Yet, I persevered by immersing myself into the role of DoON.

Skillset list required (earned):

• Logistics – so many moving parts;
• Resilience;
• Probability of success based on past trials & errors;
• Persistence;
• Perseverance;
• Patience (this one happens to rank right up there as one of the toughest to portray…I can come off as a not-so-nice wife at times)

A simple example was the original discovery that I could (had to learn to) move Mr. from one surface to another using a simple tool (Turner Pro) and lots of will power and muscle power by myself. He was SO weak early on and his balance ridiculously off. Getting him out of bed, onto his wheelchair, pushing him carefully out the front door, down the ramp without the wheelchair rolling over me, and down the driveway to get the mail together and back into the house in reverse steps. I was terrified, talked to myself the whole way and to him throughout that first adventure outside the house on our own. A game changing moment. We weren’t stuck in the house after all!

Flashforward to now where I can move him with his help out the door, his hand helping by holding onto the rail on ramp, into the garage, into the car, out of the car (including lifting ramp on car up and down, lifting the wheelchair in/out of the back, and putting the Turner in/out of car) at therapy clinic/doctor offices, and back ALL BY MYSELF!

Go Me!

The newest obstacle is the winter/slush/snowy weather, which we all know can be unpredictable. Using discernment comes in often where safety, ability, YakTrax on my boots, all guide me/give me the wisdom to know when to cancel or to go. I’ve also learned how to shovel snow in a safe path and sprinkle ice melt strategically. I have retro-thanked Mr. for every single time he shoveled and moved snow for us over the years. It’s hard work on top of everything else I have to do. Here’s the latest storm and the last photo on my card for 2025!

As Mr.’s delegated Power of Attorney for Healthcare, I remain an advocate for figuring out what is best for him based upon his wishes and his outcomes of the care/drugs he receives. He unfortunately/fortunately recently received the diagnosis of refractory epilepsy. We are glad to hear in a way as we both think the most recent medication Topiramate is absolutely NOT for him. Ironically, we’re back to where we started years ago with the Ketogenic diet (not correctly done back then) to help his brain recover. Go figure, diet is medicine when medicines don’t work first. 🤔 Thank goodness we got each other to bounce ideas off of and keep on keeping on.

I asked Mr. yesterday to write a list in his recovery journal of all the milestones he remembers from the year. First off, the act of writing on paper was impossible when he first returned home, so now it is cool to see when he writes on the right side of many paper lists. He’s still writing on the page this morning. Most of his list includes wishes that came to be for him personally, all paving his way up to the obvious big wishes to someday be obtained (aka, walking independently and using his arm). And… I’ve realized how tall he was all these years!

It’s a great that we have so many milestones to help us ‘forget’ the obstacles which had to be navigated to get us here in the new year of 2026.

I hope that your lists of what were good milestones in 2025 make you feel grateful and forgetful of the obstacles too. And playful…don’t forget to be playful!

Happy New Year to you from our family unit who got together surrounding Mr. standing on his own parallel bars.

There’s a longer story about how they were tossed away from the therapy clinic where he first learned to stand up during a PT session…his wonderfully supportive parents did the dumpster diving recovery and bought them and we all installed them in the room so he can practice in between therapy sessions. For now, let’s just say, they help us remember the hope of life without a wheelchair and how tall an upright standing Mr. really is!

Thank you to all of you who have shared your prayers and support! We’re sending love to all of you blogging buddies! Happy New Year to you!