As I was eating my popcorn and wondering what the heck I could write about for transformation prompt, my mind wandered. As it often does.
Nibble, nibble, nibble, dip in to get extra salt…I should really watch my salt intake (someday). Yum…this is really tasty.
Wait, an idea popped into my head…popcorn…yes…transformation from kernel to popped corn. Bingo…(the sips of Leinie’s had nothing to do with this discovery).
So I wrote the word out on a piece of paper…added it to the staged picture. Yeah…that’s transformation. But, sigh, slightly boring right? I better try again in the morning, with coffee.
After a good night’s sleep, and a fresh cup of coffee in hand, my mind wandered again.
What kept coming back to me is my last year spent transitioning to gray hair. It was a pretty big deal and it was a transformation – just look at my “about me” photo for the proof. (Over there, to the right of the screen, in case you didn’t notice!)
Do you really want to write about going gray again? Yeah, kind of…some days, it is still a blurry and scary kind of deal! When I let it get to me.
Oh, mercy me, the truth is, there are still the things (sh**) that I imagine people say about my transformed gray hair.
- You look old – (NOT…I’m 50 something, I look my age for chrissake…my birthday is next week, that must be where this one is coming from!).
- You look tired – (Well…maybe I am some days, I could just get more sleep already).
- You let yourself go – (Ouch…maybe I should get dressed for the day…but it’s only 4:30 am, I do look like I didn’t try to awfully hard at that time of day).
- Wow – you look so different… (Not good, not bad, just different. So do you, especially that face you just made when you said that – your nose up in the air isn’t your best shot).
Okay…that last one was kind of mean to say…retaliation isn’t the best response and hidden anger only indicates insecurities.
Are the imagined thoughts real?
Duh! I just confessed they are.
But are they all in my head and not what others really think? Are they are just pesky thoughts (like those damn gnats in my office…still flitting around annoying me)?
My little old (middle-aged) head has had murmurs of these thoughts off and on since I choose to embrace my gray hair. You’d think I’d be used to them by now.
When, oh, when will those thoughts be gone?
There is nothing real about what I think others think, the thoughts are all in my head. Unless I ask someone what they think, I can’t know what they are thinking, and I can’t worry about it either.
Sh**ty thoughts will disappear when I choose to let them be gone.
Now that I’ve completed the gray transformation, I have to let go even more than I imagined. It’s one thing to let go of the dye, it’s another thing to let go of recurring dreams of the fear about letting go of the dye and what other’s may or may not think.
The thoughts are wild and crazy and have a mind of their own when I let them wander freely through my head.
No different from my wild and crazy spikes of new gray hairs – the fun wire-like ones! In black or white or in color, curly or straight, they have always had a mind of their own.
As I’ve gotten used to my changing hairs (or thoughts about them), they spoke to me at the weirdest times throughout the transition from dark to gray hair.
I’ve recently discovered (admitted that), the feelings I have when those thoughts arise are being triggered more so because the gray hairs are going through their own transformation on my head.
They are out of control and literally have a mind of their own.
The black ones are all kinky and strong (thicker in texture), the slate color with a bouncy curl to it (slightly thinner than the black), the mousey gray just lays limp (even thinner), and the new white ones are thin and stand straight up in the air – yelling at the world – notice me. I thought my thoughts were hard to manage…
The reality is – hair is just hair and the quest to find a hairstyle that works with your type of hair never goes away. Hair, as we age, is in a steady transformation – embrace every crazy hair you have. You’ll never be bored, and will always be amused (amazed).
PS – I really do love my gray hairs and if you choose to take the journey to gray, you’ll love them, too. Really, you will!