Adventures · Emptying the nest

The messiness of newness

When I start out on a new adventure of discovery, it’s exciting.  My excitement is filled with the ideas of newness and of the freshness of the grand plans to feed my soul.  I paint a picture in my head of the projected outcome.

It’s a beautiful vision.

It will be perfect, right?

IMG_2918csskrupcbwWhen plans start to come together, I start to feel small in a way because I thought the sky was the limit on how the project would turn out.

My initial vision was perfect after all.

IMG_2930sskrupacbwI’ve lived through growing pain stages many times before, and I know, it will happen.  It always does.  The messiness arrives when I’m getting cocky and thinking…

I’ve got this.

When a new type of gotcha happens I know I have to stick with what’s working, toss aside what’s not, and clean up the rest as I let the original, modified ideas continue to grow.

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But when the inevitable messiness arrives, I start to panic.  Holy crap, a lot of stuff starts to explode all at once in my little corner of the world.

And frustration builds.  IMG_2917csskrupacbwSome deep-seeded thoughts of fear or doubt hang on for dear life and keep popping up when I least expect them to.  No matter how I rearrange the plans, the seeds are there, ready to pop if I let them.

I search for the seeds of ideas I started out with that aren’t working as well as I planned.

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I know the best way to deal is to pluck them and toss them aside.  But I hang on and let them toss around and grow a bit longer in my head.  They’ve taught me lessons in the past.  They’ve helped me grow before.  I consider if it is it worth it to let them stick around and keep growing along with the new or should they be discarded?

The new ideas are mixed in with the debris of crappy old thoughts.  Both are just waiting to pop and be discovered…

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What ideas will win in this gardening adventure?… Time will tell…

Post Inspiration:  Cee’s Black & White:  Ground, Sand, Dirt, Grass, Paths

11 thoughts on “The messiness of newness

  1. I hope you enjoyed my Philosophy post today expanding on the notion of Values? I have often seen gardening as more of a challenge as I got older, it was an adventure when I was learning as a toddler with my grandad! I’m writing a post at the moment probably entitled, “why did God create slugs?”. Make of that what you will.

    1. Ooh…I’m intrigued by the slugs post! I didn’t have much of an opportunity to garden when I was young, but the moments of fun I did have with my grandparents and my mom have stuck with me. I’m enjoying the revival of those feelings this year in my gardening attempts. I enjoyed your post today, I still struggle with your choice and use of the word justice. I remember you once commenting to me about roles and the need for separating them from who we think we’ve become. I’m thankful you continue to share thoughts with me, as I’m most definitely not comparable to you and your life’s accomplishments. As always, thank you for your inspirational thoughts.

      1. Of course we’re comparable, I m older so have had more “life”! Justice links and relates to fairness and equality. Justice in my mind is about the application of fairness and equality to many different situations. For example the young girls of Nepal need justice, because there is no fairness or equality in the education system. Tommy Robinson in the U.K. needs justice because he has been treated unfairly. The pensioner arrested in the U.K. for killing a young burglar in his home needs justice for being treated unfairly by the state.

        1. Glad to hear! Thank you for the further clarification of your definition of justice, that helps! PS…I’m an ISTJ, and my husband is an INTJ – we have these same kinds of conversations – I’m forever taking the sensitive route and thinking he doesn’t understand me, and he just thinks I should get what he’s saying! 😉 It keeps life lively!

          1. My daughter is an INTJ and a psychologist too! Dr C is an alien and …. as the kids used to say “….. from outer space”😂😂👫

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