23 valuable lessons for life after graduation

February 13, 2018

As a 50-something’r, (is that even a word?) I’m no different from a 20-something’r (might as well make it twice) trying to figure out the big questions in life.

“What the hell is life all about Alfie?”  (Okay, yeah, I get it, I’m not a guy and I’m married, but still, the movie asked a lot of questions!  The 1966 version is more familiar to me, and my mom loved Shelley Winters…I’m pretty sure that’s where my name came from, but I digress.)

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Knowing all the answers is the fun part of life, right?  When you have it all figured out, you rock life and no one can stop you.  But no one, I mean no one, starts out knowing all the answers, right??  (Stop reading now if you have all the answers, you don’t need this post – send me the link to your blog or the book you read…or therapist, etc…!)

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(Okay, Joe might be on to something, but let’s keep going, cuz’ that’s what Twisted Tuesdays are meant to do, whatever the hell I want to write/rant about!  Go me!)

Or is it more fun to approach life without having the answers and continually search for the meaning of your own life?  Then you get to conjure up what makes your heart sing and dance as you float off into the abyss of wonderment.

Who the f*ck really knows?  Do YOU?  Do I?  Does anyone?  Does Barbra Streisand?

Okay…I know, I should really stop swearing so much.  I’ll be shunned by my friends, family, and readers.  But when the rant juices are flowing…don’t stop them!

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If I could go back in time and have a serious talk (rant), you know the ‘this is what you need to do to get a head start on life’ kind of talk, I’d tell myself a bunch of valuable shit.  Because I’ve learned a litany of things in 30 years since hitting the rightful age of know-it-all status of a 20-something’r.

There’s wisdom in experience and gray hairs grown along the way.  There’s valuable “I don’t give a f*ck what others think” attitude that comes from living life, too.

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Let me lecture you a moment about the 30 years in between 20 and 50.  Those years are when you learn the real important shit about life.  Don’t let your high school teachers or college professors tell you otherwise.  In school, you learn how to navigate the institutional requirements and schedules that keep you moving forward.  You don’t learn how to navigate life without the structure you have while being a student.  The moment you’re done being told what to do, and you have to tell yourself what to do and be disciplined with enough guts to figure out how to live in the real world, is when the life you really want to have started.

Being a student of life, you learn by earth, wind, and fire, and a box (or more) of Kleenex.

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23 valuable lessons (limited due to time, space, and today’s rant life…always leave your readers hanging…longing…for life…for more…) you’ll learn as you live life after you graduate:

  1. You might not get your cute little ass hired the first time you apply for a job.
  2. You might not like the job your cute little ass got you hired for, don’t stick it out, quit (but find a replacement job first).
  3. You might love the job you got, but your cute little ass will get fat from sitting there all day (so exercise, eat right, get sleep, etc.)
  4. You might lose the job you love, and your cute little ass will find another job, eventually, and the cycle will begin again (repeat 1-4 as much as you dare or create your own job where you’re the boss).
  5. You will fall in and out of love until you find the perfect person.  Even then, you’ll both have moments of struggles in your relationship because no one is perfect.
  6. You will experience love in more ways than your heart and head could ever imagine.
  7. You will experience loss in more ways than your heart and head could ever imagine.
  8. You will experience responsibility in more ways than your heart and head could ever imagine (all the shit that you didn’t learn in school).
  9. You will experience disappointments in more ways than your heart and head could ever imagine.
  10. You will fit in.
  11. You won’t fit in.
  12. You will make money.
  13. You will spend money.
  14. You will die not needing any money.
  15. You will accumulate stuff.
  16. You will get rid of stuff.
  17. You will make friends, keep friends, and you will lose track of friends.
  18. You will second guess yourself more times than your heart and head can imagine.
  19. You will make decisions that others don’t agree with (including yourself, see #18).
  20. You will feel lost and long for the beach or an escape (just a few times, especially in winter).
  21. Your hair will turn gray, and no amount of dye will cover it forever.
  22. And then one day, you’ll look back and say, “Why did I give such a f*ck about the non-important things in life?”
  23. And then…you’ll stop worrying about the things that you have no control over and you’ll start living the life that makes your heart sing.

Bonus Tip #24:  Don’t wait until you’re a 50-something’r to live the life that makes your heart sing, start living it now, today!

Suggested readings, if you’re so inclined to read a real author’s advice who, by the way, swears, too – so there!!:

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#GFTH-GFTB

Twisted Tuesday Challenges

What’s on your valuable life lessons list?  Have you read the recommended readings?  What did you think of the books?  Do you have other recommended readings?  

 

 

 

 

Pocket

By Shelley

Letting my quirk out one post at a time.

26 Comments

  1. Reply

    Create Space

    Enjoyable read! I’ve had to learn that things may not be as I would want them but acceptance brings freedom and peace of mind. Tuesdays with Morrie, Life Lessons by Kessler & Kubler Ross, Man’s Search for Meaning, I’m ok You’re ok by Thomas A.Harris, A Different Kind of Teacher by Tony Humphreys all top of my list! I haven’t come across your recommendations. Have you read any of the above Shelley?

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      Thank you! Yes, I’ve read Tuesdays with Morrie and Life Lessons, I’ll add the rest of your recommendations to my To-Read Kindle list. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for sharing your advice, too!

      1. Reply

        Create Space

        You’re welcome Shelley. Let me know if you think any of the books are memorable!

        1. Reply

          Shelley

          Will do!! I love to read, and appreciate your recommendations!

  2. Reply

    Dangerspouse

    I miss my cute little ass 🙁

    (She left me when I was 27.)

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      LOL! Damn, that same thing happened to me! WTF?

      1. Reply

        Dangerspouse

        It’s kismet, I tell you!

        1. Reply

          Shelley

          :-)!! And a great new floatie to bootie.

          1. Dangerspouse

            Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

  3. Reply

    gwennym

    “the 30 years in between 20 and 50. Those years are when you learn the real important shit about life”

    oh yeah, preach it sister!!

  4. Reply

    nomaddernomadder

    #24. You will restart your life many times over and question why? I love this. Wish I had this 30 years ago! Thanks again, Shelley.
    Donna

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      Aw, thank you, Donna!! Love your #24 too!!

  5. Reply

    ellendiamondblogblog

    Rushing off to class, only time to read first few sentences. Will come back later… but as for 50-something-r being a word, it is now!🙂

  6. Reply

    Winnie

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom Shelley!

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      You’re welcome, Winnie! Thanks for reading!

  7. Reply

    frazzledagain

    Say it like it is, that’s Shelley. Great post and oh so true. Don’t wait till you’re 50.

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      LOL – that’s me 🙂 Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!

      1. Reply

        frazzledagain

        your posts are fun!

        1. Reply

          Shelley

          Aw, thank you! 🙂

  8. Reply

    cindimatography

    ‘What’s It All About, Alfie’ is one of my fave songs, as sung by Dionne Warwick. I hum it to myself quite often when I am perplexed about something in my own life.
    Unless you are someone who has discovered the cure for polio, an academy award winning actor, olympic winning athlete, top political figure or international celebrity (to name a few examples) most of our lives are meaningless. At least, that is my reality. I remember starting out hopeful at the age of ten and now at the age of 67 I’ve come to realize my whole entire life has been worthless. Try as I might, I’ve accomplished nothing.
    I used to take great pride in at least being a successful wife and mother.
    My hubby sorta strayed in 2010 so THAT blew that theory.
    And when Trump won the election, my two daughters abandoned me, kept me from my granddaughters, which suffered me to have a heart attack. So, that ended that theory also.
    I don’t plan on dying.
    I simply want to fade away and be forgotten.
    What was it all about, Alfie?

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      I know, I still sing that song some days when I’m wondering what the heck to do or what’s going on! You’re right, no one really knows the answers, we just do our best and we do fail at times. For what it’s worth, I enjoy hearing from you, you have made a difference in my little blogosphere world and you’re teaching people how to be thrifty. One thing we never get to truly know is how we impact others lives who didn’t take the time to say so. To me, that’s worth the chance to make a difference. You do! Take care, xx

      1. Reply

        cindimatography

        Shelley, that’s so very true! Sort of reminds me of George Bailey’s life from ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Oftentimes we do not know how our life affects another’s life, in a positive way!
        Thanks for your kind words.

  9. Reply

    singlikewildflowers

    I’ve learned so much about life after graduation. I look back and wonder what the heck I was doing and thinking…living in some lala land. 30s was tumultuous. 40s…much too busy to care really what other people think, still learning that it’s okay to be me, and that crazy hair days are the norm.

    1. Reply

      Shelley

      Life in retrospect is always enlightening! Enjoy the crazy hair days, they don’t go away in the 50’s by the way, so you might as well get used to them. But those precious moments of chaos while raising a family are precious – enjoy every.single.moment!

      1. Reply

        singlikewildflowers

        I’ve embraced my crazy hair as my own. Might as well love it! Trying to enjoy these moments and love their little faces and kid voices.

        1. Reply

          Shelley

          That’s awesome! Trust me, you’ll never regret focusing on this time in life, plus you’ll have lots to remind them of when they have kids of their own! (selective revenge…if you will)! 😉

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